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“We’re okay, Loh. Is it an emergency?”
There’s a hesitant silence.
“Does there need to be?”
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. Shiloh and I have had shit for boundaries our entire lives. We’re one hundred percent open and honest with each other—maybe more like eighty five—and his persistence isn’t anything out of the usual.
But if I’m going to make space for Blair in my life the way I want, there needs to be some clear lines drawn.
“What’s the matter, Loh?”
“I need to see you,” he says indigently. “I need to talk to you.”
“Can it wait until I’m finished here?”
That seems to be the moment the thread snaps.
“You shouldn’t have anything to finish,” Shiloh says on a huff. “I thought you weren’t banging my brother? Blair, I thought you said this wasn’t serious?”
Blair’s eyes widen, and he shakes his head. I’ve only ever seen him be Big Brother Blair with Shiloh around, but right now he’s a deer in headlights. One that looks like he’s going to hurl.
“Loh. We can talk about it later.”
“We can talk about it now.”
I press Blair back with just enough space for me to get the door open and slip out of the stall.
“Shiloh Novak.”
He shivers, standing tall in his faded tee and washed out skinny jeans. Shiloh came here to hook up tonight.
“You ditched me,” he says, the hurt leaking through his tough facade.
“I needed to be here more.”
“With my brother?” His voice rises but I keep mine even.
“Yes.”
“Atty.” It comes out like a whine, like a petulant child. “You told me you were only sexually interested in someone you have a real connection with.” He glances at the half open stall door.
“That’s true,” I say slowly and softly. “Blair made me realize that.”
The hurt that flashes in his eyes is all the confirmation I need that Ryder is probably right. They all have been. There’s something bigger between Shiloh and me that I’ve never noticed. Something he hasn’t wanted me to know.
Or maybe something he didn’t want to face himself.
“Loh…”
“Blair was right,” he says, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around himself. “My head was too far up my ass. And now you… fuck, Atty.”
“You’re my best friend. Nothing changes that.”
“Bullshit,” he shouts, curling tighter in on himself. “You’ve been distant and dodgy… what’s going to happen now that it doesn’t have to be a secret? Are you going to stop being my roommate to move in with Blair?”
I throw my hands up to placate the hysteria moving in, and when I reach for him he rushes into my arms without a second thought. He buries himself in my chest, and I catch Blair slipping out of the stall, pulling his shirt over his head, and making his way to the door. Before I can call out, he gives me a tight smile and shakes his head, and then Shiloh and I are left alone.
“I don’t want to stop living with you,” I say into his mess of curls. “I love you. I do. You have to believe that.”
