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“Everything alright?”
He looks up, first spotting the food then flicking his eyes up to meet mine, and the sweetest little smile graces his face.
“Thank you. Yeah, just talking to Shiloh. He says he’s napping in the dorm.”
I nod and take up the seat beside him—maybe a little closer than necessary—but he doesn’t complain when my thigh presses against his.
“I gave him a workout this morning. And then the whole thing with his meds. He’s probably pretty exhausted.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Blair’s words catch in his throat, and I grab one of his shaking hands in both of mine.
“Hey now.” I squeeze his hand, and he looks up at me with a sniffle. “Shiloh is fine. Little slip. He probably won’t even feel the effects of it for more than a day or two.”
His laugh is nothing more than an exhaled breath and hint of a smile, but he knocks his shoulder into mine, keeping the contact.
“It’s not just that.” He sighs, looking down at our joined hands. “Dad is sick.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah.”
He rests his cheek on my shoulder, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Blair with his guard down like this.
“You’re a great big brother, you know,” I tell him, reaching over to brush the hair from his eyes. “He loves you a lot.”
Blair hums, pressing into my hand where I trail my fingers over his cheekbone. Shiloh and I have always been very touchy and affectionate with each other, and it doesn’t feel any different to be this way with Blair.
“He loves you more,” he whispers, and when he tilts his head and runs his nose along my jaw, I feel more than hear his intake of breath before he jerks away.
Not a single part of us is left touching, but when I look at him, Blair’s cheeks are pink, and he refuses to look at me. He clears his throat and reaches for his bowl, and I’m not sure if I did something wrong, so I follow suit.
Several minutes of silence pass before I put my empty bowl on the table and turn. Blair is more staring at his food than eating it, and I gently reach forward, folding the hair curtaining his face behind his ear.
My fingers linger, brushing slowly along his jaw until hooking under his chin and tilting his head in my direction. His eyes are red and glassy from unshed tears, and he’s digging so hard into his bottom lip that I pull it free and stare at the little droplets of blood there.
“Your brother is lucky to have you. We both are. If you ever need to talk… I’m sure I can handle two Novaks.”
The smile from before pops out, the one that barely turns the corners of his mouth but still makes his eyes crinkle. I’m not sure I’ve ever noticed how pretty they are.
Or how sad.
“You know,” he says, pulling away and resting back against the couch. “I bet you’re a pretty great big brother, too.”
It’s supposed to be sweet, but instead it’s like a thousand little needles in my chest. I haven’t seen or even spoken to any of my siblings since last summer. I skipped going home for the holidays in favor of staying with Shiloh in the dorms.
“Eat and get home,” I tell him and grip his knee reassuringly. “You’ve gotta have better things to do than hang around here.”
He shrugs and closes his eyes, head tipped back towards the ceiling.
“Thank you, Atlas.”
“For what?”
He smiles, and I’m slammed with the urge to touch him. To comfort him. To wrap him in my arms and promise that everything will be okay. It’s strange. Not because it’s Blair, but because I’ve never had that protective instinct for anyone other than Shiloh.
“For being you.”
My shift ends at five, by which time I’ve already kicked Blair to the curb threatening to send his brother after him, and something he’d said starts nagging at me.
