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Just don’t ask me to promise that nothing will.
“Listen,” I say when I pull into the clinic therapist’s lot and throw the car in park. “Atlas is your best friend. I’d never take him away from you.”
He’s still pouting, but his posture loosens at the words. “I’m going to lose him anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
Shiloh pulls the seat back to its default position and drops his head into his hands. “I’m not straight enough to miss the fact that Atlas is hot as hell, okay? Guy, girl, one day he’s going to fall in love, and I’m going to be left behind just like always.”
“Atlas loves you,” I tell him, staring him down until he lifts his head and drops his shoulders. “Atlas loves you more than anyone else in the world. Nothing and no one will ever change that.”
His smile is lopsided, and he puts his hand on the door handle, only to pause and hover there.
“Then I feel bad for whoever falls for Atty. No one wants to be second in the heart of the person they’re in love with.”
He holds out his other hand, and I realize he wants the money for the appointment, so I dig it out of the glove box and slap it in his hand. He gives me a two-fingered salute then slams the car door shut and runs inside.
I always wondered if anything happened between them over the years—to say they were attached at the hip and co-dependent would be putting it lightly. It’s something Atlas and I will have to talk about if this thing—this experiment—is something he seriously wants to do.
For now, I just lean back in my seat and wait forty-five minutes for Shiloh to get through his session.
A: I like what we did.
Me: I told you we’d talk about that later.
A: No, you said we’d talk about what we’re going to do later. I’m talking about what’s already happened.
Me: What’s already happened that you liked?
A: The phone sex. It was hot. Telling me what you’d do to me.
Me: You like when I’m bossy?
A: Less so that you’re bossy and more that I don’t have to overthink what’s next.
Me: I’ll keep that in mind.
A: Can we keep texting?
Me: Like right now?
A: No. Well, yes. In general. I don’t want this part to change. I like talking to you, B. I like the escape.
Me: Whatever happens between Blair and Atlas… we can keep being A and B, too.
A: Thank you.
Chapter 13
Atlas
Blair and I didn’t talk about the thing between us for a couple of days. With Shiloh adjusting to his new medication and being less of his energetic self, I spent a lot of time keeping him company. Plus, I hadn’t noticed how distant things felt since I started talking to B, and since Blair was busy and we hadn’t had time to have our talk yet, I figured some bonding/reconnecting time was in order for me and my best friend.
It has nothing to do with the guilt of wanting to tangle in the sheets with his brother.
The basement of our dorm building is a big concrete room with one wall taken up entirely by a movie projector and a white sheet held on only by the miracle of fifty million thumbtacks.
Never say college kids aren’t resourceful.
