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I’ve done enough of that for one lifetime.
“We kissed. That was it.”
His arms tighten like a vice around me, and I wrap one of mine around his waist and card the other through his hair in an effort to soothe him.
“Do you like him?”
That’s a harder one to answer. I’m not a hundred percent sure where I stand there, and that’s crossing into territory that I’m not quite ready to get into with him.
“It was just a kiss.”
He finally peers up at me, those dark eyes of his bleeding out questions his mouth will never ask. Questions I can’t read but can tell are there all the same. He pushes back and hooks an arm around my neck.
“Did you kiss him or did he kiss you?”
“I kissed him.” The last thing I need is him anymore mad at his brother than he already is over the whole ‘dad’ thing.
“Why?”
There’s only so much truth I can readily give out. I swallow hard.
“I was tipsy. He was lonely.”
Shiloh is quiet as he stares up at me, fingers picking at the hair on my nape. “Did you like it? Are you going to do it again?”
“Shiloh.”
“You did. Do you want it to happen again?”
“I don’t know what I want.”
At the core of it all, it’s the truest statement I can make. I don’t know what I want. I know that Blair makes me feel seen, makes me feel wanted. He lets me explore a part of myself I was too afraid to dig into for most of my life.
Shiloh nods his head and smiles up at me, sweet but full of mischief.
“Loh.”
His other arm comes around my neck, and he pulls me down until our foreheads meet in a gentle bump. “Atty.”
He rubs his nose against mine, and I can’t help the laugh that puffs out of me. “You’re teasing me.”
“Totally not.” He sticks his tongue out and drags it over my cheek.
“You are so fucking gross.”
“You kissed my brother. That makes you more gross.”
I’m glad we can joke about it. I was afraid he’d be mad. It’s hard to tell some days.
“Wanna make it even?” he asks, grinning wide from ear to ear.
“Make what even?”
“The kissing count.”
“You wanna kiss one of my brothers? Good luck finding Rue, and Ryder will challenge you back twice as hard.”
He wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. “Not what I had in mind.”
