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“What changed?”
I hesitated but chose to go with honesty. “I’m trying to accept parts of myself that I didn’t before.” Although, unlike Anthony, my attraction to women had never been fake or forced.
“I can relate,” Anthony said and glanced at the living room, concern in his eyes. “We should stop what’s going on there before it gets out of hand. I mean, even more out of hand.”
I was relieved to hear him say that, but I doubted Jay would share a similar sentiment, especially after revealing how dark his prison days were. This sort of grudge becomes a part of you, taints your soul and scars it.
“We need to be smart about this,” I said. “Telling Jay to stop won’t go over well. We should try to make him see reason and let him know we no longer want a part in this.” Jay had made it clear how important our support was to his plan, and how he needed us to stay united. I was ready to put it to the test.
“We should head back,” Anthony said.
I was about to agree but was cut off by Chris's cry of pain.
15
We hurried back into the living room where Chris was holding tight to the edges of the table, his head down and his back slick with sweat.
“Hello, boys,” Jay said. He was sitting with a big smile on his face. “I have four fingers deep inside his pussy. Catch this, I just need to twist my fingers a bit…”
Chris’s head shot up. He gripped the table harder as a loud groan escaped his throat. “Stop,” he gasped.
“Fat chance that’s happening. Besides, you need more loosening before we take turns fucking you.”
I’d be lying if I said I was surprised to hear the next stage of Jay’s plan; he’d been skillfully setting up the stage for that all evening.
“I’m not raping him,” I said, hardly believing such words had left my mouth.
Jay made an annoyed face. “Who said anything about rape?”
I looked down at Chris. “Do you want us to fuck you?”
He shook his head, still panting, beads of sweat dripping onto the table. “No.”
“What are you asking him for?” Jay pulled his fingers out. Chris sighed in relief and slumped on the table.
“If he doesn’t consent, it’s rape,” Anthony said as he was putting his boxers back on.
“You’re getting cold feet too, Ant? After everything he did?”
“Sex won’t make it better.”
“Getting even will.”
Anthony shook his head. “I feel that we’re even now.”
“The hell we are!”
Chris coughed. “I need water.”
I almost forgot about the water in my hand. I went to him and held the glass for him to drink. He pushed himself up on his elbows and took the glass, drinking fast enough to spill some. “More,” he croaked.
I went back to the kitchen while behind me Jay was saying, “Ant, come on. You know he deserves it.”
I didn’t hear Anthony’s response. I hurried to fill the glass, my hands trembling. This was the moment of truth, the showdown I dreaded from the moment Jay had first asked for my help. I needed to stand my ground and salvage some of my dignity, for all of our sakes. When I got back, Jay was sitting quietly with his arms crossed, an angry scowl on his face. I gave Chris the glass and this time he drank slower. His face was still flushed, but his breathing was even.
It was a stupid question, but I still asked, “Are you okay?”
His look was pure exhaustion. “No, but I will be if you let me go.”
