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Anthony was about to answer, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He was done playing the hero, and I didn’t give a damn if he agreed or not.
“You can’t protect him,” Jay told me and tilted his head at Chris. “He doesn’t deserve your protection. He destroyed me.”
“You are not destroyed. You are building your life back, and you have Anthony and me.” I made my voice reassuring yet stern because I needed to get through to him. “He didn’t destroy you, but using this gun will.”
“Don’t mess with my head. I’ve had enough of that.” His eyes became thoughtful right before he said, “I can’t make you understand because words are useless, and I ain’t sharp with words like Golden Boy. But I can make you feel it.” He cleared his throat. “Hit him.”
“What?”
“Hit him. Smash your fist into his stomach.”
I shook my head. “Not gonna happen.”
“Either you or me, and it will hurt more if I do it.”
“I’m not—”
“Ethan, it’s fine.” Chris put his hand on my shoulder from behind. “I can take it.”
“It doesn’t matter what you can take.”
“I’m going to get hit, so either you’re doing it or him.”
“It’s just a punch,” Jay said in a light voice. “To get you back in the mood. Let’s not make a scene out of it.”
I glared at him. “You’re holding a gun with your dick out, andI’mmaking a scene?”
Jay shrugged. “Yeah, that’s fair. But you’re still going to hit him, then Ant will have a go. A couple of rounds, and you two will be back seeing reason.” He looked past me. “How ‘bout you bring your ass over here.”
Chris walked forward. I grabbed his arm, but he shook me off. “Don’t make this harder. You got me here.”
His words hit hard because they were the absolute truth. I stood back and watched as Jay made Chris turn around to face me. He wrapped one arm around Chris’s chest to secure him in place, then raised the other hand with the gun until the barrel was resting against Chris’s cheek.
My knees felt weak as I pictured Jay’s finger slipping, resulting in a bullet flying through Chris’s skull.You got me here.
“That’s better,” Jay said while stroking the side of Chris’s face with the barrel of the gun. “E, come on. Punch him.”
I took a step back. “I don’t think I will.”
Jay raised his voice. “Should I?”
“I can’t be responsible for what you do.”
“You will be responsible for how much I hurt him if you don’t hit him right now.”
“Ethan.” Chris was looking straight into my eyes. “Do it. You’re only making it worse.”
Fuck this. I shut my eyes and drew in a deep breath, yet it didn’t make me any calmer. I took a few steps forward until I was facing Chris. There was defiance in his eyes, no trace of fear. Whether he was being brave for me or for himself, I didn’t know.
“Hit. Him. Now,” Jay said.
I stopped the doubts from spinning in my head, then sent my fist into Chris’s stomach. He remained still, the only indication of pain being a faint grunt that escaped his throat.
“Cute,” Jay said. “I’m sure that tickled him. Now do it like a man.”
Goddammit. I punched him again, harder than I intended. Chris instinctively raised his hands, but Jay held him tighter and hissed, “Stand still.”
“Okay, I did it,” I said and took a step back. “Enough.”
