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Chance looks over my shoulder again--at David's ghost, I guess. "She told Tasha it's hard to dream when you've got a dead husband and a kid to take care of."
I wince. It's a fucking gut punch.
I want to help her dream again.
"That's rough," I say, then take a sip of my coffee to try to soothe the heartache. "She deserves better--she's one hell of a woman."
Chance stares at me for a second, understanding dawning on him. It can't be hard to tell--keeping this from a kid is one thing, but adults? They should know, especially my siblings.
"Holy shit," he says. "You like her, don't you?"
I lean forward on my elbows and lower my voice. "You can't breathe a word of this to Tasha or anyone else."
"Cross my heart," Chance says.
"Good," I nod. "Because yeah I like her--and after we spent the night together last night, I think I love her."
Chance's eyes widen and he shakes his head in disbelief, smoothing his hands over his hair. "Jesus, dude."
"What?"
"She's a widow!"
"For five very long, very celibate years," I say. "That's what she said. Don't you think her husband would want her to be happy?"
Chance is still shaking his head, my disapproving--and ever-responsible--little brother playing the part. "Not like that."
"Look," I say. "I know she was your friend's wife, and I don't mean the man any disrespect at all. I wish I'd known him; I wish he was still around. I'm sure that, if he was, I wouldn't stand a chance with her. But she doesn't deserve to be alone if that's not what she wants."
Chance raises his eyebrows. "And you're gonna be the one to fix that?"
I glare at his tone of voice. "What the hell does that mean?"
"Nothing," Chance says. "Or...okay, something. You've just never been one to settle down. I was in the military, and even I came home more than you did."
"Because you're a mama's boy," I tease.
"Cut the shit," Chance rolls his eyes. "Evan, you're my brother--I love you. But Sam has been through a lot, and she's only just started to seem like she's coming out on the other side of it. Tasha would kill me if I didn't talk to you about doing right by her, andso would David.Hell, I figure his ghost would come back and haunt me if I let anything happen to his wife."
I shudder, remembering that feeling of someone standing behind me. If I stick around, will that be the rest of my life? Living in David Valdez's shadow?
"I shouldn't have said anything," I mutter. "I don't even know if I'm staying--"
"Which is the whole problem," Chance interrupts. He's getting a little heated now, and I realize he was closer with Sam's dead husband than he is with me. I flounder a bit, uncomfortable and wishing I could crawl into a hole and hide. "Sam isn't some quick fu--"
He pauses, looking around. The kids are off playing, but he still lowers his voice to a warning growl.
"Sam isn't some quick fuck," he continues. "She's a good person, Evan."
"And I'm not?" I ask.
Chance frowns. "You know...I'm not even sure. I don't really know you."
It hits me like a physical blow, and I lean back in my seat like I'm trying to get away from him. But that just leaves me closer to the ghost over my shoulder, stuck between two veterans who will kill me if I hurt Samantha Valdez.
"Can we head up to mom's place?" I ask. "I uh...well, shit, dude, I need a breather."
Chance seems to notice his own intensity a moment later, and he says. "Shit--sorry, Evan. My therapist told me I get a little scary sometimes, I'm trying to do better--"
