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Standing in front of Sam's door.
I reach for the knob, and I'm terrified she's locked me out--but I should have known she wouldn't keep the door locked, not when her kid might need her. I take a step inside and find it completely dark, the only light the moon drifting through the leaves of a willow tree outside the window.
She's curled up on top of the blankets, her back toward me. Her hair spills across the pillow, dark waves reaching in tendrils toward me, luring me closer.
She stirs.
"Do you want me to go?" I ask.
Sam rolls over and looks up at me, her dark eyes glittering slightly in the light from under the door. "No."
I move cautiously toward her, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She still looks sleepy, letting out a big yawn as she props herself on her elbow.
"Alex went to sleep?" she asks.
"Yeah," I say. "Super easy; no problems. He's a really good kid."
"He is," she says.
She sits up, pulling her knees underneath her. I wait for her to tell me what's on her mind, not wanting to interrupt mid-thought.
"I don't want to lie to him," she says. "It isn't fair. He's been through too much."
"Then we can tell him--"
"We can't because you're leaving," Sam interrupts.
Fuck...Brazil.
"My mom told you, right?" I ask. "I don't fucking know why she did that."
"Don't be angry at her," Sam says. "It just made me realize that I don't have any ownership over you, you know? You're a whole person. I'm a whole person. We both have lives that are very different and I don't know if we fit together."
I reach out and touch her face; I can't help it. Sam leans into my touch and closes her eyes.
"So you want to keep this casual," I say.
I don't.
"I can do that," I go on.
I can't.
"I don't really think it can be any other way," she says. "You're leaving town in two weeks."
I pull myself further onto the bed, getting closer. I can feel her body heat now, the scent of her shampoo, a hint of saltwater because she's been crying. That's my fault.
I hate that it's my fault.
"So I guess the question is," I murmur, "do you want me to stick around or do you want me to get the hell out of here and go stay at my mom's place until I leave town?"
"I don't know," she whispers.
I slide my thumb over her lower lip. "Can I try to convince you?"
Sam shudders and leans closer, and I part her lips with my tongue as I kiss her. My hand glides under her t-shirt to find that she isn't wearing a bra--she never does--and she moans as I palm her breast.
"Even if I'm leaving town," I growl against her lips. "There's nothing stopping me from making you come as many times as humanly possible before I go."
