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Ten years ago, when David was considering joining the military, he told me the exact same thing. We'd fought about it for a long time, we were both angry. Finally, after weeks of back and forth, he told me he would stay for me.
And I told him to go...because it was important to him to serve his country, because he knew it would open up opportunities for us and for the family we wanted to have.
Because I didn't want him to hate me for forcing him to choose this life.
I close my eyes and swallow hard, and I try not to let that dictate what I do now.
"Don't do that for me," I whisper. "You should do what makes you happy."
Evan shakes his head, taking a step toward me and putting his hands on my shoulders. "You're what makes me happy," he says. "You and Alex."
I take a sharp breath, and suddenly I'm crying, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"You don't know that," I say. "You don't know me."
He doesn't step away--and I don't either, even though I'm tempted to run. "I understand we just met, but Iknowyou, Sam," he says. "I see you. I want to make you happy."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," he says.
I pull away from him and walk toward the counter to set down the flowers. The dogs follow me in a cloud of fluff, never giving me a moment to have a meltdown. Kona, my ever-loyal husky, sticks his head in my hand like he knows I need something soft to cuddle with right now.
I idly scratch his ears.
"You don't love me," I tell Evan, not looking at him. "It doesn't work like that."
"Who says?"
I wave my hand around. "I don't know...everyone? You don't just meet someone and fall in love. You don't justknowlike that."
"But I know with you," he says.
He takes a step toward me, and Kona's tail wags.
All my dogs like him. That has to be a good sign.
"Sam, I've never felt like this before," he says. "I've never fallen for someone, never wanted to stick around. But with you...it felt natural to wake up next to you and make you breakfast. It feels natural to be here in this house with you, to take care of your dogs."
His voice gets rough.
"It feels natural to watch cartoons with your son in the morning," he continues. "Please, give me a chance. That's all I'm asking."
I turn around to face him, tears still streaming down my cheeks. His eyes are soft and pleading, and I can see the sincerity in his gaze. I want to believe him, to let myself fall for him too, but I'm scared. I'm scared of getting hurt again, of losing someone I love.
Because I can't deny it.
I love him.
"I don't know if I can," I whisper, my voice barely audible.
He takes another step closer, his hand reaching out to cup my cheek. "I'll wait for you," he says. "I'll wait until you're ready. I'll get my own place and we don't...we don't have to spend the night together again..."
"But I want to," I whisper. "Because I love you too."
He focuses on me, gazing into my eyes. It's like time is standing still, and I'm back in that moment right before we had sex--the night that changed everything.
"Say it again," he says, his voice hoarse.
