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I shot him a look. “It’s really annoying when people ask me that question.”
He held up his hand. “Of course you’re sure. I was just asking because that’s . . . that’s a hell of a coincidence.”
It was, except I didn’t believe in coincidences, and neither did Grady.
Grady became silent as his gaze trailed to the terrace doors. Some time passed before he spoke. “I think about that night a lot, you know? Trying to figure out why the Hyhborn were there in the first place. They were looking for someone— like one of their own? Like acaelestiaor something?”
“Maybe.” It wasn’t impossible, I supposed. Claude and Hymel were several generations removed from whatever Hyhborn they descended from, but I imagined there were ones born recently. Though I had no idea if the Hyhborn cared for that child or not. I didn’t know if anycaelestiaslived in their Courts.
“I have something I want to talk about that you’re not going to like,” Grady started after a moment.
“What?”
Grady took a deep breath, and I tensed, because I had a feeling that this was going to be a conversation that we’d had before. One that would add yet another thing for me to worry about. “We don’t have to stay here,” he began, and yep, I was right.
“Yes, we do.” I shoved the blanket off my legs, already feeling my body heat.
“No, we don’t. There are other cities, other territories— ”
“And what would we do in these other places that would be better than this?” I challenged, scooting off the bed. I needed to be standing for this conversation. “Do you think you can get a position like this— one that not only pays you but gives you shelter? Nice shelter at that?” I began pacing. “A job that doesn’t require you risking your life every day, like the miners or the long hunters do?”
Grady clamped his jaw shut.
“And what will I do? Go back to playing fortune teller at markets, risking being called a conjurer? Or find work in some tavern, where I’m likely to be on the menu along with ale that tastes like horse piss?”
“And you’re not on the menu now?” he fired back. “To be sampled by whoever, whenever?”
“I’m on the menu because I want to be.” My hands balled into fists. “And I’m not even really on the menu. I’m like a barely chosen . . . appetizer.”
Grady stared at me, his brows climbing. “What . . . the fuck?”
“Okay, that was a poor analogy, but you know what I mean. We have it made here, Grady. Gods.” Frustration rose. “You really aren’t even planning to ask Claude about apprenticing to the blacksmith, are you?”
“Honest? I don’t give a fuck about apprenticing to the Baron’s blacksmith.”
I slammed my eyes shut. “Grady, you’re good at that. You actually enjoy it— ”
“Yes, I am good at it and I do enjoy it, but I’d rather use my talent forging weapons for the Iron Knights than for some fuck-boycaelestia.”
“Grady,” I gasped, eyes flying open as I crossed the short distance between us. “My gods, will you please stop saying stuff like that? Especially now? When the Prince of Vytrus is here to discuss them?”
“I’m not worried about that when it comes to him.”
“Really?” I challenged.
“Really.” He glared up at me. “Look, I know it freaks you out when I talk about the Iron Knights, but damn it, you can’t tell me that you’re happy here. That you’re happy with all ofthis.” He swept his arm out. “And I’m not just talking about this manor and the Baron, but the way we lived. The way we’ve had to live.”
“Oh my gods.” I pressed my hands to my face.
“And I know you’re not. I know you think the same way I do about the Hyhborn— that they do nothing for us lowborn,” he said, and I peeked between my fingers, seeing his nostrils flared with anger. “You know, one day I’d like to marry.”
I lowered my hands to my sides.
“And maybe have a kid or two,” he continued. “But why the fuck would I do that? Why would I want to bring a child into this world? There’s no real opportunity for that kid to be anything of value when the Hyhborn control everything— who can get an education, who can own land— ” He cut himself off. “They’ll just keep puttingcaelestiaslike the Baron in control, and yeah, I know he’s not that bad, but I could spend all night naming others who would be better suited but would never get the chance. We are basically just cattle for them, working in the mines, feeding them, keeping the realm running, and for what? So yeah, we have it better than we did before, but we don’t have it good, Lis. None of us do.”
“I . . .” I lifted my shoulders, but the weight of his words— of the truth— pulled them back down. I went to the bed and sat beside him. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You can just think about it, you know.”
