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“It was a mistake,” I mutter.
Lisabell takes a seat on a chair opposite me. She looked exhausted one minute ago but now there’s a glint in her brown eyes and a grin on her face.
“What do you mean, mistake? This is awesome!”
I raise an eyebrow. “How and why?”
“I mean, it’s pretty clear you like the man, and he seems to reciprocate the feelings. He gotten you a job and a house to stay at, Juliette. He obviously cares about you, so I don’t see why you shouldn’t be happy about rolling around in the sheets with him.”
At the mention of everything Xander has done for me, my heart lurches. Especially when I remember that I’m going to be living in his house once Lisabell’s gone. I won’t have anywhere to hide anymore.
“Because,” I pause and groan. “I’m not trying to self-deprecate, Bells. But he’s way out of my league. Like he’s Messi and I’m a no-name nobody that just started out her career.”
She frowns. “Soccer reference aside, what does his league have to do with sex. If you want to sleep with him, sleep with him. It’s the twenty-first century—he’s a hot single man and you’re a hot single woman.”
“You know I don’t do well with having casual sex with someone.” If I’m sleeping with someone, it has to be real.
“You didn’t have that conversation before jumping into bed with him?” Lisabell questions.
My head falls back. “It was a sort of in-the-moment thing. I wasn’t really thinking. He did say I was his, though,” I remember, my cheeks growing hot.
Lisabell grins. “That’s hot.”
“But it doesn’t really mean anything. Does that mean we’re exclusive? Or it was just a one-time thing and it’s never going to happen again? Or—”
“What do you want, Juliette? A relationship?” Lisabell interrupts.
“I don’t know,” I admit, biting down on my bottom lip.
Lisabell sighs. “Your relationship drama is giving me a headache. Why didn’t you talk to him, Jules? You realize that would have been the mature thing to do, right?”
“Yeah,” I say with a nod. “But I never claimed to be mature.”
Lisabell smiles, shaking her head. “On the bright side, you finally got some action. What’s it been, four years?”
“Five,” I confess. “I haven’t been with anyone since…”
“Yeah, I remember,” Lisabell says quickly. Neither of us is ready to open up that can of worms.
I get to my feet. “Come on, let’s clean this dump.”
“Again, this is a very organized mess,” she states.
We both laugh as we get to work. An idea suddenly hits me.
“How about a night out? You’re leaving in a week. Let’s have fun, the two of us. It’ll be like a going-away party.”
“Yes!” Lisabell says enthusiastically. “I say we go clubbing. We can forget all about our shitty love lives.”
“Lisabell, you don’t have a love life,” I point out.
“I don’t, but a girl can dream,” she says jokingly.
The topic changes and I’m soaking in her company as much as I can. In a week, I won’t be able to talk to her like this anymore and it hurts a lot. But I’m a big girl. I’ve got to suck it up. My phone pings with a text from my back pocket and I pull it out to read.
Where the hell are you?
Butterflies dance in my stomach when I swee the text is from Xander.
