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My smile slips at the mention of the party but I quickly plaster it on again.
“What things were you thinking about?” Xander questions.
“Do you remember when we first met? And you accused me of being a trespasser? You were this close to throwing me in jail,” I say.
Xander smiles. “I might have done it,” he admits.
“Jerk,” I mutter, but his smile only widens. I take advantage of that and ask him something that will most probably piss him off. “Are her paintings going to be on display at the party?”
Xander’s smile fades so fast, I almost regret asking him anything at all. But he hasn’t offered up any information and the party is tomorrow.
I asked the twins about it and they said it was pretty much a normal party. There would be pictures of Kathy on display and videos of her when she was alive. It’s the only time the twins ever get to see their cousins and aunt from their mother’s side as well, since they make sure to fly in from Denmark for the event. There’s also an auction and the proceeds go into a charity foundation Xander started in her name.
Basically, it’s a night to honor Kathy and her life. And it’s beautiful, it really is, but the circumstances surrounding it are arguably not.
It feels like Xander only allows himself that one day to let himself remember her, to feel her, and then he locks up all his emotions again.
“No,” he replies icily. “Why would you ask me that? I realize you saw the paintings by accident, Juliette, but please, don’t ever bring it up again.”
Anger burns into my skin but I force myself to take deep breaths. It doesn’t make any sense. If this party is to honor his late wife, then shouldn’t the paintings she obviously poured her heart and soul into be a part of it? Shouldn’t he want to share how amazing Kathy was?
I never even met her and yet a part of me feels like I know her. The twins are always talking about her when he’s not around, but when it comes to him, it’s like I’ve hit a brick wall.
“I’m not going to the party,” I confess, saying the words that have been on my mind since I found out about there was a party in the first place.
He stares at me for a moment and I watch his jaw clench.
“Why not?”
“Because it makes me uncomfortable, Xander. It’s a party for your dead wife and I just don’t think I should be there on such a memorable occasion.”
That’s not the complete truth, but I don’t think he really wants to hear the truth right now.
“You should be there, right by my side, helping me through it.”
“Why do you need help at all, Xander?” I ask softly. “Why are you planning a party in the first place? I’m just so confused. You clearly miss her but there’s no pictures of her in the house. The only room that seems to have her belongings has been locked up. I-I just don’t think it’s healthy.”
Xander’s eyes flutter shut. He doesn’t say anything for several seconds and I’m scared he’s going to lose it. But he doesn’t. His eyes meet mine and they’re colder than I’ve ever seen them.
“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, Juliette.”
And that stings because I know I told him I didn’t. But if he had just asked me, if he had explained why he needed me to be there so badly, I would have sucked it up and been there for him. But I can’t do anything when I don’t even understand what’s going on. I can’t help him with his demons if he doesn’t explain them to me.
My hands curl.
“I’ll see you later, Xander,” I say before getting up and walking out of the office.
I fucking hate this.
* * *
Hello,beautiful.
A gasp escapes my lips. Francine, who has been working on a meal opposite me, raises an eyebrow.
“What is it?” she asks.
“I just got a text from a ghost,” I reply.
