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Juliette
My mom gave me the sex talk at the age of ten. I was a kid, nowhere near the age of puberty, and she sat me down and told me all about periods and how I shouldn’t have sex unless I wanted to. She also thought me about birth control. On one hand, I guess it was nice that she thought to inform me about it early on. But then again, I was ten, and everything she told me was a little traumatizing. Plus, I forgot it all a few minutes later.
As I grew older, she would repeatedly warn me against getting pregnant unless I absolutely wanted to.
“Julie, there are only two circumstances where it is acceptable for you to fall pregnant without getting married. If you’re trying to trap the man into marriage, or if you’re ready and comfortable with having kids.”
It was actually good advice—at least, the latter part of her statement—and as I stare at the positive pregnancy test in front of me, I can’t believe I let myself fuck up this monumentally. I swallow against the knot in my throat while pacing the length of the bathroom in the store. I came in here as soon as I purchased the test, too nervous to wait until I get home and worried Xander would find out if I took the test at home.
I woke up this morning feeling a little nauseous and when I tried to eat breakfast, the smell of the avocado toast almost made me puke. I love avocado toast. I thought I was about to be sick, but deep down, I knew that wasn’t the case. The fact that I hadn’t seen my period in so long kept eating at me. Thankfully, Xander didn’t notice that anything was amiss. He suggested we go to the gym after breakfast, despite me wanting to lie in bed and sleep away my worries. But I went along so he wouldn’t get suspicious.
My phone rings, distracting me from my thoughts. Xander’s name flashes across my screen. After taking a deep breath, I pick up.
“Hey,” I say in an undertone.
“Hey, Firefly. Something came up at work and I need to head over there.”
“But it’s Sunday,” I protest even as relief slams through me. At least I don’t have to face him yet.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”
“Okay, don’t you need your car?” I question.
“It’s alright. I’ll take one of the other ones. Hurry back, the twins are asking for you.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Bye, baby.”
He sounds so happy, at ease. When I first met him, he was a man plagued with the demons of his past and although he’s not completely healed, he smiles so much easier these days and I’m so glad. It fills me with a thrill when I think about the fact that I’m the reason for that and no part of me wants to be responsible for any other pain in his life. I have no idea how he’ll take this pregnancy.
Hell, even I don’t know how to take it.
With a sigh, I grab the pregnancy test and wrap it in a paper bag and exit the bathroom. The woman at the front desk of the store gives me a sympathetic smile. She can probably guess what the result of the test was from the look on my face. I smile gratefully then walk out and heading into the car. For a few minutes, I rest my head on the steering wheel, weighed down by all the thoughts in my head.
I reach for my phone and call the one person I know can help me through this.
“Julie,” Lisabell says happily, answering on the first ring.
“Hey, babe,” I greet, feeling some of the tension leave me at the sound of her voice. Tears expectedly well up in my eyes and I try to choke the sobs down.
“I miss you so much and I wish you were here.”
Lisabell falls silent. When she speaks up again, her voice is tentative, low. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m pregnant,” I tell her, the two words leaving me in a rush.
“What?” Lisabell asks in shock.
“I’m pregnant, Bells. I just found out a few minutes ago.”
“Holy shit,” she breathes. “Are you okay? How do you feel?”
“I don’t know,” I groan. “I’m so terrified, Lisabell. And I don’t know what to do.”
“Okay, just calm down,” she says softly. “Deep breaths, Juliette. Take it easy.”
I inhale deeply before exhaling. Then I do it a few more times at Lisabell’s request.
