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I decide that I’ll take what I can get.
14
LORELAI
FIVE.
Ithink I am being haunted by my mother more and more. Especially now, when all I think about is Slyth.
My mother, the person who loved me most in the world, is gone and has been gone for so long that sometimes I thought I was starting to forget her.
But no longer. Now, I can feel her with me again, refusing to let me go, refusing to allow me to forget her.
I don’t want to forget you, Mama. I’m not going to forget you.
When did things become so complicated?
All I do lately is think of Slyth. I cannot help it. He is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen. And he treats me well. He doesn’t treat me like utter shit like the other nagas would. He treats me really well, in fact, and clearly it is messing with my head because I have never wanted anything more than I want Slyth.
Wanting Slyth comes with its own complications. Because I haven’t forgotten my plan of revenge on all the naga. I have not told Slyth about my plans for revenge. I would be an idiot to do that. Because as much as I like him, and I know that he likes me, he is, ultimately, a naga.
I cannot trust him. I cannot trust any of them, and I need to remember that as I continue developing my plans of revenge.
I want to help kill Kriseri though. If any naga deserves death by my hand, it is Kriseri. And maybe if I do this, if I help kill Kriseri and if I help Slyth with this whole thing, he won’t hate me when I kill Lodra’s royal family.
I look over at him, at the wounds across his body that do not mar his beauty at all.
Then I am forced to look away, swallowing quickly, as I remember the night we spent together.
I am not completely inexperienced when it comes to sex. There are plenty of human boys in Yadat who are willing to do whatever I want for a little relief from our very stressful lives.
But to have been with a naga?
My face grows warm as more details of our night together resurface in my head. I shiver slightly as I stand and inspect the medicines that I have prepared for Slyth’s wounds.
It has been five days since I first met Slyth. It has been five days since we collided.
And now my entire worldview has been turned upside down. I am starting to realize that I don’t know what I believe anymore.
You need to hold on. You need to hold onto everything that has hurt you. Because if you don’t, you’ll lose everything.
* * *
Eleven.
I cannot wait to murder Kriseri. I have been practically dreaming of the many ways in which I could torture him, ever since Slyth told me what his plans were.
I cannot help my frustration, however, when Slyth says that he only wants to kill Kriseri as a last resort.
That doesn’t matter. He will die. And you will kill him. You will get your revenge, and you will free the humans under Kriseri’s control in the process.
“This doesn’t feel right.” Slyth grimaces as he sits up, and I hurry over to check the wound on his side.
When he pulls his hand away, I see that blood has welled up across the gash. It is ugly, deep, and vicious.
“I thought my healing salve would be enough to heal it,” I murmur more to myself than to him. “But I’m going to have to stitch it up. It will be very painful.”
Slyth exhales heavily and then nods, his eyes closed.
