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“When will you leave?”
“Tomorrow, as soon as possible,” he says. “I’ll sleep in the inn tonight, gather my things, and meet you in the morning to set out together. Unless you need more time to prepare yourself?”
“No,” I reply. “I’m always ready to leave whenever I need to.”
“Prince Zalith may surprise you,” he says. “I know you think you know what the royals are all like from knowing from Kriseri. But I wouldn’t dedicate myself to him as a warrior if he were the man you think he is. I hope he gets the chance to prove to you that he isn’t.”
Something inside me strains, as if a force is pulling it painfully tight. How easy it would be if I could just believe that Zalith is who Slyth thinks he is. But how can a naga warrior hope to see the Prince he was raised to protect as he truly is? The rot in the royal bloodline runs deep, and I don’t believe that Zalith was spared it.
“We’ll see,” I answer.
I think I must sound certain of myself, but underneath it, I’m anything but. Because there is a part of me that wants to abandon everything. To give up on revenge against the naga royals. To simply lean into this man and let him see and accept me.
The people you mourn so much are dead,a voice inside me whispers.But you’re alive. You can have a beautiful life. Why hold on to a debt to people who will never collect it when you could simply be happy? Isn’t it enough to be happy?
Slyth seems to consider saying something else but decides not to. Instead, he simply pulls me closer and continues to stroke my hair.
Maybe being happy could be enough,I think to myself. But every day I would be happy, I would have to think about all the people who never had the opportunity for it. I can’t give them their happiness back, but surely I can do something. And what of all the other slaves and wild humans who are still alive? Isn’t it worth something to protect them? To kill the people who would put them down?
I realize that I’ve thought of myself as a tool made for violence for so long that it feels strange to simply lean against a man and be soft and gentle. And yet, at the same time, this feels somehow far more natural than fighting ever does.
I had to be trained to burn things and to shoot arrows. And yet, this I can do with no training at all. Somehow, I am also able to be held in the arms of a naga I’m beginning to fall for as the sun sinks over the forest.
I don’t know where any of this will go. I’m terrified to meet this Prince, because when it happens, I’ll have to finally make the choice, and I don’t know how to make it.
But at least, I don’t have to make it tonight. Tonight, all I have to do is be here with Slyth.
“We’ll see,” I repeat. “We’ll see.”
17
SLYTH
HAS THE SUN ALWAYS BEEN THIS BRUTAL?
Ilook over at Lorelai, who rides on the equu next to me. She’s barely broken a sweat.
I smile ruefully to myself as we ride through Yadat to Lodra.
You can’t even take the sun. This is what comes from spending your life in the castle.
Lorelai’s strength and endurance shine brighter with every new day that I spend with her.
I consider myself fit and strong, and as a naga, I have magnified strength, speed, and other abilities when compared with humans.
And yet, now, in the saddle of the steadily trotting equu, I am the one who is suffering.
It is not as though you mind. Admit it! You’re proud of her!
And I am. I am proud of Lorelai, although I don’t understand the reason why.
Maybe it’s because you’ve shared more of yourself, of your life, with her than you ever have with anyone else.
The equus race forward as we leave the sparse forests of Yadat and are greeted with the sight of miles and miles of sand.
“Fuck.” I mutter under my breath, and Lorelai turns in her saddle to look at me. Her dark, deep-set eyes sparkle with mirth, and she laughs broadly before she turns and urges her equu forward.
We agreed before we left that we wouldn’t stop to camp overnight. The sooner we got to Lodra, the better.
