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Until then, I was making new memories with Ryan. Over the last couple of weeks, we had gone from bouncing back and forth in an almost even amount to basically staying at my place. It had become our love nest, and I reveled in the ability to call a place home and have him in it.
The boys came over a couple of times, too. Not only were they enlisted to help me move furniture around, but they were also catching up with Ryan and hanging out with us occasionally. Sometimes, I cajoled Ryan into leaving the house and going and having a beer with them, because I knew he felt guilty leaving me at home and wouldn’t go if I didn’t tell him to. But other times they came over to play board games, and I would learn more about them and their friendship growing up.
Graham and Caden were the most regular visitors, but recently his friends Mark and Victor were dropping by as well. Mark was a doctor and mostly acted as a personal reassurance for Ryan that things were going fine, even though dealing with pregnant ladies wasn’t his specialty. But Ryan liked to hear it from him. Victor was a bit tougher nut to crack. He was bitter and jaded about his marriage ending and the nasty divorce that followed. But he loved and respected Ryan enough that it made up for some of the more awkward first conversations and interactions I had with him.
I was starting to see a future for us, though it wasn’t clear what exactly it would be. Where we would live, how things would work out, I couldn’t see them all that well. But I could see him being in my future. All of them, really. I could see myself being part of this group going forward.
Done admiring my belly, I stepped into the shower and got cleaned up for my day. Getting up early with Ryan had its perks, not the least of which was that I was up a couple hours before heading into work, giving me the opportunity to get a shower in the mornings. I relished that time, even when Ryan couldn’t be there with me. There was something so refreshing about starting the day by getting clean.
I got out of the shower and made my way through the house naked, since there was no one there and I had to finally pick something to wear. My baby shower was taking place at work that weekend, and I was having trouble planning my outfits accordingly leading up to it. None of my cute clothes seemed to fit now that I had the belly, and I really hadn’t gotten any maternity clothes.
I really shouldn’t have bothered. Work was insane, and I was glad that I ended up giving in and putting on yoga pants under a simple, loose dress. The hoodie I’d brought along was purely because I never knew if I was going to be cold or not, though I hated putting it on because I thought it made me look frumpy.
People were coming in all day, mostly because it was the end of the month, and a ton of them needed last minute inspection stickers. The afternoon had been trucking along, and the spicy hummus that I had been starving for this morning and had eaten an entire container of was settling funny on my stomach when Marvin suddenly burst into the room.
“Jeez, Marvin, you scared me,” I said, my hand over my belly as I pushed the chair back from the desk.
“Allison, I need you to stay calm,” he said, his eyes wide and the closest thing to panic I had ever heard from him in his voice.
“What? What is it?” I asked.
“It’s Ryan,” he said.
“What about Ryan?” I demanded, panic now suddenly gripping my own voice.
“I heard it on the scanner,” he said, motioning to the police scanner he kept on in the shop. “There was a fire down at the old bread factory on the edge of town. Ryan was inside when the roof collapsed.”
The world seemed to fall in on itself as the words hit me. The last few kept repeating over and over in my mind, and each time they were like a boxing glove punching me in the heart. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything was going dark.
“Where’s my phone?” I said aloud, the world flowing back into me and adrenaline shooting through my veins.
A customer was sitting in the shop, ostensibly flipping through one of the ancient magazines that sat on the tables beside them. He looked as alarmed as I felt, and he shot straight up and looked on the desk with me.
“It’s there,” he said, pointing.
“Where? Where?” I demanded, my panic blinding me to being able to even discern shapes.
