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“I so am not, but that’s not the point.”
He turned his hand in hers and squeezed.
Rhea pulled back, pain and anguish in her gaze as she said, “You saved me, then went to prison for it. For so long, and yet, you’re still you. Still the same guy who did what he could to save me.”
“I did a little more than that,” he muttered.
“You were in shock, and you were angry and protecting me. You’re literally the only one who thinks you deserved that prison sentence.”
They’d had this discussion so many times. He’d killed in cold blood, and he’d never regretted it. He’d needed to pay for that, no matter the reason he’d done it.
It was one thing to have that disgusting bastard hurt him. It was a whole other thing to find out he hurt Rhea, too. He could take the pain, the abuse. He’d been used to it. He’d known nothing else for most of his life. But Rhea? Sweet, innocent, loving Rhea?
He’d snapped. He’d grabbed that gun and made sure Robert would never hurt Rhea or any of the other kids ever again. He could never regret that. He couldn’t regret saving Rhea.
Jack
He’d found the nearest bar to drown his sorrows and dull his anger. He wasn’t very successful. His head was spinning, and his heart was hurting. All of him was hurting.
He had to leave. He didn’t have anywhere to go but he couldn’t stay either. The only ones who truly wanted him there were Sully and Ash. He would have said Zero as well, but he was pretty sure the last thing Zero wanted was to have him stick around. He’d seen the look on the man’s face, the look in his eyes.
He’d hurt him.
Gillies had made him hurt Zero. The fucker had been so god damn smug about it afterward too. ‘Guess I fixed that problem huh?’ he’d said and laughed. Grabbing him by his shirt and getting in his face to yell at him hadn’t been smart, but that piece of shit had made him feel helpless. He’d never experienced anyone having that kind of power over him before. Not even in prison because there he could fight back. Out here? Anything he did could get him thrown back inside with people who wouldn’t hesitate to shank him in the middle of the courtyard in front of the guards.
He fucking hated Gillies and while he knew he wouldn’t actually do it, fantasizing about killing him before taking off outta town lifted his spirits just a little.
He pulled out his phone and the lack of calls sent a fresh wave of pain through him.
King hadn’t called. He hadn’t tried to explain or even yelled at him for being stupid and to come get his cut back. There was just… nothing. King had given up on him.
Zero had given up on him, too.
That was the worst part, and he didn’t even know why. Well, he did. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself because it was way too fucking painful, and he didn’t need any more heartbreak than he already had.
He downed the last of his gin and tonic and paid, then took off knowing he shouldn’t be driving but fuck that. No one gave a shit anyway, so why should he?
Zero
The drive home had been uneventful and long. Not long enough, though.
He had no idea what to say to Jack. It wasn’t like they’d been exclusive or anything. It wasn’t like they’d even been anything. He’d overreacted. Rhea claimed he’d done that because he cared so much and because he’d allowed himself to hope. To dream.
Jack didn’t owe him anything. Jack could be with whoever he wanted.
So why had Jack called him several times this weekend? Why had Jack asked Walker where he was if he didn’t care? Maybe he was putting too much into that, but his heart had a hard time not getting its hopes up.
He walked through the apartment door and found himself frowning. Jack’s door was open, and he could hear him moving around in there, muttering to himself so he peeked inside.
Jack was shoving his clothes into a backpack, his movements jerky and angry.
“Jack? What’s going on?”
Jack froze, unmoving for several seconds before he turned. His eyes were bloodshot and he seemed a little wobbly like he was drunk. There was a mix of anger and hopelessness in his expression, but it was the blank look in his eyes that had a chill running down his spine.
He looked… He looked like a man who’d given up.
“What happened?” Zero whispered, not sure he could handle the answer.
