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His words struck me like a punch to the gut, and I could feel the tears threatening to spill over. “So, what does this mean for us?” I asked, my voice barely audible.
Greyson sighed. “I think we should take a break while you’re away on assignment. We both have things we need to work through, and it might be best if we do it separately.”
“Are you kidding me?” I scoffed, my heart aching with the realization that what he was suggesting might turn out to be anything but temporary. “You want to throw away everything we have over some man that doesn’t even care about you?”
“Remi, please,” he implored, his eyes filled with turmoil. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have. This isn’t easy for me either. But I need to do this. I owe it to myself and to you.”
My throat tightened, choking back the sob that threatened to escape. I couldn’t bring myself to look at Greyson as I spoke. “No. We don’t need to break up in order for you to figure this out.”
“Remi, you know I love you, but my bisexuality is a part of me that I can’t ignore any longer,” Greyson explained, his voice wavering. “You deserve someone who is fully present in this relationship, and right now, I’m not.”
I tried to keep my voice steady despite the tumultuous emotions churning inside me, but I could hear it rising in panic. “We’ve been through so much together. We can work through this, too. You don’t have to push me away.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I know how much you care, but I need to figure this out on my own. This isn’t about pushing you away. It’s about giving both of us the space we need to grow and understand ourselves better.”
The conversation was quickly spiraling out of control, the tension between us nearly palpable. I felt a mixture of anger, hurt, and confusion. I waved my hands in agitation. “So, what are you going to do? Have sex with this guy you’re lusting after and see if it’s better than with me?”
Anger flared up in his eyes, but he immediately tempered it. “This isn’t about fucking some guy, Remi. Yes, I’m attracted to men sexually, but I also develop deeper feelings of love for them. Before you, I don’t think I ever really fell in love with a woman. But, I’ve fallen for men. I think it’s a natural affinity, so I’m damn confused. And if I commit my life to you, I want to be damn sure my commitment is one hundred percent.”
“I don’t understand. I’m attracted to men, too. But when you love someone, you don’t act on those feelings. Maybe this is just about commitment and has nothing to do with your sexuality.” My voice cracked. My emotions were getting the best of me. “Or maybe it’s me. Maybe you just don’t love me enough.”
“Remi, stop.” He put his hands on my shoulders and forced me to look at him. “I’ve been in the spotlight my entire adult life, and I’ve had to hide my sexuality. Being a celebrity has prevented me from showing my true self to the world. I’m messed up, Rem. I just need some time to get it all straight.”
Deep down, I knew he had a point. He was being honest and open with me. If I couldn’t accept that, then I wasn’t accepting him. Still, it was scary. Maybe some time apart would give him clarity, but maybe it would split us apart for good.
“Fine,” I muttered, feeling defeated and upset. “Take your break. See other people if you want. Do whatever it is you need to do. But don’t expect me to just wait around.”
“Remi,” he said softly, reaching out for my hand. I pulled away before he could touch me. “I hope you know that I never meant to hurt you.”
“Save it, Greyson,” I snapped, gathering my things as tears finally spilled over. “Just let me go.”
With that, I jumped up from the sofa and ran inside his house, leaving behind the man I’d grown to love so desperately. I quickly gathered up my things and bolted for the front door. A sob gathered in my chest, but I swallowed it down.
I rushed out of Greyson’s house, my heart feeling like lead in my chest. The cool evening air hit my face, a stark contrast to the heated exchange I had just left behind. My eyes stung with unshed tears, but I refused to let them fall. Not here, not now.
“Remi,” Greyson called after me, his voice strained and vulnerable.
I hesitated for a moment, wanting so desperately to turn back and throw myself into his arms. But I knew that would only prolong the inevitable. If I didn’t give him this leeway to figure out his sexuality, it’d eventually be the end of us, anyway.
“Take care, Greyson,” I murmured without looking back, my voice barely audible even to me.
I fumbled with my car keys, my hands trembling ever so slightly. As I got into my car, I couldn’t help but glance up at Greyson’s house one last time. The warm glow from his living room seemed to mock me, a cruel reminder of what I was leaving behind.
Driving away, I felt a deep sense of worry and uncertainty settle within me. What if this break changed everything between us? What if we couldn’t find our way back to each other? The thought terrified me, but it was a possibility I had to prepare for.
“Dammit.” I slammed my palm on the steering wheel, trying to shake off the heavy feeling that threatened to consume me. I’d always felt that Greyson was too good for me. Why would he settle for someone like me? I shouldn’t be surprised he was having doubts.
As I drove down the busy streets of West Hollywood, my mind wandered to the wonderful Christmas I’d spent with Greyson. There was no denying the connection between us. He’d told me that it was the best Christmas break he’d ever had since he was a kid. My mother and sister had come out to visit me and they both loved him. Just two weeks ago, everything had been perfect. And now it was all in shambles.
Why did love have to be so damn complicated?
The city lights blurred past me as I continued to drive, lost in my thoughts. I would be away the next week conducting research for my story and then shortly after I came back, I’d be joining Ghost Parker on the second half of their tour. Between the tour and Greyson taping for his show, I wouldn’t have gotten to see him all that much, anyway. Maybe now, I could put all my focus on creating a fantastic story and not be distracted by my love life. I didn’t have much choice in the matter, so I’d have to make the best of it.
I’d be out ghost-hunting while Grey was soul-searching. Hopefully, we’d both find what we were looking for. I prayed that whatever lay ahead would lead me back to the man I loved.
Chapter 8
Ghost
