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Liquid courage gave me the push I needed to grab my phone. I scrolled through my contacts until I found his name. My thumb hovered over the call button, hesitating before finally tapping it.
The line rang once, twice, and I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the impulse that had led me to call him.
Then, “Greyson?” His voice was a rough rasp, seductive and sinful.
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. “Ghost. I didn’t ... I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”
“Just got off stage,” he replied, the background noise of his surroundings confirming his statement. “We’re in Columbus, Ohio tonight. Awesome show.”
“Is this a bad time?” I inquired, trying to sound casual despite the pounding of my heart.
“No, it’s all good. It’s good to hear from you.”
“You too.” I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to gather my scrambled thoughts. “How’s the tour going?”
“Long. Lonely. Seems like it’s dragging on forever this time.” He sighed. “But the fans make it worth it.”
A pang of something unidentifiable squeezed my chest. I wanted to reach through the phone and wrap my arms around him, chasing away the loneliness that had crept into his tone.
“I guess I’m a bit lonely, too. I’ve hardly seen Remi,” I said before I could stop myself, my voice betraying a hint of vulnerability. “She’s been busy with work.”
He grunted wryly. “Well, she’s not talking to me either, if that makes you feel any better.”
“It doesn’t, not really.” I attempted to keep my voice steady as I leaned against the kitchen counter.
I heard some people calling out his name in the background. “You sound busy. I should let you go.”
“I’ve got a few minutes.” Then it sounded like he partially covered the phone. His voice came out muffled as he spoke to someone with him. “Babe, not right now. Give me a minute.”
My heart sank. He was with a woman. Or maybe it was many women. How could I compete with that?
Yet, he had answered. Emboldened by the alcohol in my system, I screwed up the last bit of courage. “I’m throwing a party in a few weeks,” I offered hesitantly, swallowing hard before continuing. “You know, just for some friends to catch up and unwind. You and the band are more than welcome to come if you want.”
There was a weighted pause before he said, “Send me the details. I’ll let you know.”
I was squeezing the phone in a death grip. Only due to years of training did my voice come out smooth and natural instead of cracking with strain. “Will do. I hope to see you there.”
“Good to hear from you.” The line went dead.
Fucking Ghost. He’d been as elusive as ever. He hadn’t said no, yet he hadn’t said yes.
One thing I knew for sure was that if Ghost came to my party, I would make sure that we had a night to remember.
Chapter 27
Ghost
Strumming my guitar absentmindedly, I tried to lose myself in the music, letting the chords echo through the tour bus. Knox and Ryder lounged on the couch across from me, their attention glued to the screen above my head as they played their video game. Their laughter and playful banter filled the air, a stark contrast to the heaviness weighing down on me.
There were still three more weeks of tour left, but a feeling of restless energy had been building up inside me since the beginning of this tour. It was different this time; usually, I loved being on the road, but now it seemed like every day dragged on for an eternity. As if sensing my uneasiness, Knox paused the game and glanced over at me, concern etched on his face.
“You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Are you doing alright?” he asked, nudging Ryder to get his attention. Ryder looked up, his eyes full of worry as well.
They both knew that I’d had a video session with Maggie this morning. While I’d confided in Knox about my past, I hadn’t told the other guys, but I was thinking about it. So far, Maggie, Knox, and Remi knew and none of them had reacted with revulsion. I actually felt like I was making progress; the more I opened up, the more I seemed to move ahead.
Maggie and I were meeting often. Processing my past and working through her steps was helping me heal what I thought was impossible. Even our talks about my promiscuity must have made an impact on me because I hadn’t had sex with anyone for weeks now. It just felt so lurid and cheap now that I wasn’t as numb to the world and my own feelings. I was ditching the pills and allowing my emotions to come through without becoming too overwhelmed by them all. Maggie was holding my hand and cheering me on through the whole process and she’d assured me I was making major progress.
At times, though, I felt stripped bare and exposed to the core. Vulnerable and scared. Sometimes I wanted to go back to the comfortable numbness.
