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She turned around in her seat to address them. “Everyone settle down. I’m sorry it took so long. I had to finish something important, but we’re ready to go now. Kids, this is Bash. He’ll be having dinner with us tonight.”
Oh my God. What was happening?
“These are all your kids?”
I turned around to study them. There were four of them. I couldn’t get a good look at one of them because they were in a car seat facing backward. A toddler boy, younger than Kody, was buckled into another car seat. Two older kids were in the back row, sitting in booster seats.
She started the car and began backing out of my driveway before I had the chance to escape. “Yep. These are my babies. Charlie and Harper are my little ones. Amelia and Will are the ones in the back.”
Will shouted from the back, “Mom, I’m really hungry!”
Angelique pulled out onto the road and then glanced in her rear-view mirror at her son. “Good thing you’re hungry, because we’re going to Pop’em Possum for dinner.”
My ears almost started bleeding with the high-pitched shriek of glee they all let out.
Pop’em Possum was a local restaurant franchise geared toward kids that was known for its giant opossum mascot, greasy microwaved pizza that tasted like cardboard, and arcade games. I’d never been there, but the local billboards and TV commercials made it look horrifying.
I gripped the armrest. “I thought you had reservations somewhere?”
She looked over at me and smiled reassuringly. “I have a friend who works there. I get a good discount and can get the kids some tokens. It keeps them busy and out of my hair. They love it.”
It was loud in the car. The kids were constantly yelling. As soon as we got out of my neighborhood, I realized that Angelique was a terrible driver. She was cutting people off, not braking soon enough, and flipping off people who beeped at her. It was twenty minutes of a white-knuckled car ride from hell.
It took a considerable amount of wrangling to get the kids all checked in with hand stamps and wrist bands and then to get them seated. All six of us were crammed into a booth together. Will spilled his soda all over the table while we were waiting for the food, so there were wads of wet napkins all over the place.
Angelique’s kids were busy coloring on the paper tablecloth and fighting. Complete pandemonium was going on all around us: kids running and screaming everywhere, horrible carnival music blaring, and a nightmare-fuel, giant opossum wandering around to freak out the kids who were already hopped up on junk food.
I skipped the “pizza” and only nibbled at the soggy french fries. The kids slammed down their food in record time. When we were about done eating, a greasy-haired guy who looked as high as a kite came over with a bucket of tokens for the kids. After a collective squeal of delight, all but the littlest one ran off to play arcade games.
“Thanks, Karl.” She knew him by name. And I was pretty sure she was giving him some kind of weird eye signal.
It was ridiculously hard to communicate since it was so damn loud. There was a strange blue light pulsing in the background, which was making me feel queasy. Or maybe that was the fries? Either way, I was convinced I was in the 7th circle of hell.
Angelique was busy on her phone. I was wondering how I could escape. Before I could come up with a plan, she stood up.
“Would you keep an eye on Harper for a minute? I have to use the bathroom.”
“Sure.” I looked warily at Harper, but she seemed to be fairly content picking at the food left on her plate. As soon as she realized her mom was gone, she let out a giant wail.
I tried to soothe her, but after no success, I knew I had no choice. I unbuckled her from the seat and lifted her up. She looked me over, but then thankfully stopped crying.
For at least five minutes, I held Harper in my arms, trying to keep her calm. When she got fidgety, I walked over to the arcade area to check on the other kids. When I found Will, I asked him to point out the other two, because I couldn’t pick them out in the swarm of kids. They were all wearing their wristbands, and they couldn’t get out of the place without the matching wristband of the parent. It was a pretty secure setup.
Our table was still empty when I returned. Where the hell was Angelique? Was everything okay? Maybe the horrible food was not sitting well in her stomach?
Then I had a terrifying thought. My gut twisted. What if she abandoned her kids? Left them here with me and took off — just like Kody’s mom had abandoned him. It was a crazy thought. I tried to shake it off, but where the hell was she?
I couldn’t keep still. I was antsy. I headed to the bathrooms. Girls and their moms were coming and going from the ladies’ room. It was too crowded to go in there and look for Angelique, so I asked a young mom to check if she was okay.
She came back a few minutes later and told me there was no Angelique in the bathroom. I was starting to panic.
Out of desperation, I checked the men’s room. I was a bit uneasy about bringing Harper in there, but I was too worried for it to stop me.
I poked my head inside the door. A row of urinals, most of them the shorter urinals for little dudes, lined the wall. Each of them was decorated with a hissing opossum face as a target to pee on. I thought the bathroom was empty and was about to leave until I heard a rustling of movement behind one of the stall doors.
It only took me a few seconds of listening carefully and seeing the arrangement of feet under the stall door to realize that someone was having sex in the stall and I had a pretty good idea who it was.
“Angelique” — my angry shout startled Harper, so I modulated my voice to a gritty snarl — “Get the fuck out here right now.”
