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He turned to me and smiled. “Yep.”
I smacked his shoulder playfully. “Ok. Let’s watch it.”
It started off with ‘Sebastian and Lacey’s Wedding’ being written out letter by letter before swirling and zipping off the screen using some cheesy effects. Then there was a short clip of footage taken from outside, showing the chapel before the camera zoomed in on a sign that read ‘Amore Mio Wedding Chapel’.
I grabbed some popcorn from the bowl and began to munch. On the TV screen, I was walking down the aisle to the traditional Wedding March. God, I would never choose that for my real wedding. I wasn’t skipping or stumbling; I looked quite serious, clutching the same wedding bouquet I’d left in Sebastian’s hotel room. As I walked by the camera, the focus shifted to Bash, waiting at the end of the aisle. He was grinning like a fool.
I grabbed more popcorn and snorted. “We look so stupid.”
On screen, Bash took my hand as I approached. “You are so beautiful.”
A smile lit up my face. “Thank you, Sebastian.”
His eyes were locked on mine. “Will you be my wife forever? I need you, Lacey.”
Holy shit! This was so uncomfortable. Bash was shifting restlessly on the couch next to me. So far, none of this was a hysterical slapstick comedy. It was utterly embarrassing.
For some reason, I tossed the flower bouquet over my shoulder. “Let’s do this! We’re getting married! And then we can go make a baby!”
I choked on a popcorn kernel. A wave of mortification flooded me. I sunk a few inches lower on the couch, wanting to disappear into the cushions. Forever.
“Fuck,” Bash muttered next to me.
Back on the screen, Bash was nodding his agreement. “A little brother or sister for Kody.”
“Yes!” I clapped my hands happily.
Bash pulled me close to his body. His hand wrapped around the nape of my neck and tangled in my hair. “Do you love me?”
“Truth serum?” My gaze was locked on him.
“Truth serum.”
“I love you,” I said solemnly.
Please, make this stop. Please! For the love of God!
We started kissing. With tongue. The officiant had to pull us apart. It wasn’t Elvis. It was a very short woman in a black dress. “Hold on, you two. Hold on and we’ll begin.”
She repositioned us and then spoke in a very theatric voice. “Today we are gathered to celebrate the love that Sebastian and Lacey have for each other and to recognize and witness their decision to journey forward as marriage partners. Your love has brought us here today. May it grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year.”
We joined our hands together and interlocked fingers. Bash smiled sweetly at me.
The officiant turned to Bash and asked, “Sebastian, do you take Lacey to be your wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, for as long as you both shall live?
He nodded. “I do.”
We were staring at each other on the video like two love-sick puppies.
The officiant asked me the same question and my voice rang out clearly, “I do.”
“Now, you have each written some vows you’d like to express to each other. Lacey?” The officiant indicated that I should proceed.
I was starting to sweat. We wrote vows? While we were plastered? I was praying for a freak electrical storm to knock out the power so this nightmare would end.
In the video, I unfolded a piece of paper and began reading:
Sebastian,
