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Lying in his arms, basking in a post-orgasmic glow, I came to the realization that I’d finally found my nirvana. I’d been searching for this nebulous and elusive state of mind, and in the end, I didn’t get it through letting go and submitting. I didn’t get it on the other end of a riding crop or by playing kinky games.
I found it in Sebastian’s arms, where I felt safe and secure. Cared for. Intimately connected, body and soul.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I loved him.
I loved him! That was the bottom line. I’d never felt that way about any other person in the world, at least not romantically. Hadn’t ever come close.
I loved Sebastian, and I didn’t want anyone else. He was the one. I wanted to stay with him forever. I wanted to live with him and Kody. Hell, I’d move to the suburbs and commute daily, if I had to. I wanted to get married for real and wake up in his arms every day. I wanted to plan with him. Entwine our futures. Create a beautiful family with him where we could share our love.
As soon as I realized it, it became clear as day. It all gelled into place as soon as my mind admitted it. My future was with Sebastian. He was my other half. It was never about the kinky stuff. That was just the icing on the cake. We were soul mates and I must have felt that connection in that long-ago threesome. It had been Bash all along.
I wiggled closer to him because I was absolutely overflowing with love for him. It was hard to contain.
Sebastian sighed with parted lips. “Again? You’re insatiable, wifey. Give me a few minutes.”
Chapter 29
Bash
I loved Saturday mornings. I got up early with Kody and fed him breakfast. Then I’d get him set up playing with his toys in the playroom while I ‘took a shower’. He usually lasted at least an hour, so that was when I snuck back into bed with Lacey.
This morning, I was happy to crawl back into bed with her until she woke up, but she had other plans. She play-wrestled with me until she had me pinned down, and then she had her way with me. She definitely got off on being submissive in the bedroom, but on occasion, she loved to take over. The only thing I could do this morning was lie back and enjoy the ride.
After we showered, I snuck her downstairs so that she could appear to have just arrived for the day. We were sitting on the couch enjoying a cup of coffee and debating where we could take Kody for the day when my phone rang. It was Sid.
I answered and put the phone to my ear. “Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Two babies at the ass-crack of dawn. Brady’s napping now, but Emerson won’t go down. I think he’s teething again.”
I stretched my legs out in front of me. “That’s exhilarating. Is that why you called?”
“Fuck off or I’m going to go lick your sister’s tit.”
My face soured. “Goddammit, Sidney,” I growled.
He chuckled with triumph. “Ghost called a band meeting tonight. Dinner at his place and then we’re hanging out.”
“What?” I was confused. “Why does he want us to meet? We’re not even doing anything right now. Unless we’re adding a tour or something? Do you know what it’s for?”
“Don’t know. But if it’s a tour, Kaylie’s not going to be happy. The twins are a handful right now. Plus, I’m trying to knock her up again, so if she gets pregnant—“
I cut him off. “Fuck, Sid. Enough talking about my sister.”
I heard Emerson crying in the background. “Kay said you could bring Kody over here for the night. She’ll watch him while we go. She said your parents were away?”
Fuck, I didn’t want to go. I’d have to leave by 4 o’clock to drop off Kody and get to Ghost’s apartment in time for dinner. I’d miss a lot of time with Lacey, including spending the night with her. And then she’d be gone for the week.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think I’d be able to get out of it. I tried to think quickly to figure out how I could still spend the night with her. “It sounds like Kaylie already has her hands full. I don’t want to add Kody to that. I’ll just get a sitter and then go for dinner and the meeting and then come back home.”
“Whatever, man. Just make sure you get your ass there. Ghost said it’s just going to be the five of us, so I’m not sure what’s up.”
I sighed. “Yeah. I’ll see.”
“I’ve gotta run and help with Emerson. I’ll catch you later.”
“Later.” I hung up.
