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Then he drank the Scotch down in one go.
CHAPTER SEVEN
WINIFREDBARELYSLEPTthat night. Ignoring Augustine’s advice to rest, she’d spent the rest of that day pacing around her little sitting room, going over and over her options, looking for a way out despite herself.
But there wasn’t one and she knew it.
She’d gone to bed eventually, falling into an exhausted sleep for a couple of hours, only to wake before dawn, her brain still racing.
There was no point trying to go back to sleep, so she pulled on the pale pink silk dressing gown she’d treated herself to, the one covered in chrysanthemums, and went out into the castle.
Sometimes when everything got too much for her, she’d wend her way up the ancient stone stairs of one of the castle turrets to the battlements, and walk along them, letting the wind blow away all her doubts.
The view was spectacular, over sharp mountains covered with snow even in midsummer, and the dark, deep forests. The beautiful terraced gardens that led onto rolling alpine meadows, that in turn led into the valley where Isavere’s capital city was located. The castle stood sentinel, guarding it, protecting it.
Every time she had doubts about what she was doing, she only had to take one look at the fabulous view and what it meant to her.
Yet the view didn’t work its magic on her today.
She put her hand down on the curve of her stomach, ignoring the weight of the sleepless night that pulled at her.
Running was no longer an option, she knew that down deep inside. She couldn’t leave her child and she couldn’t leave him, even though she knew she should. And while that would mean telling yet more lies and constructing yet more fictions, she would have to bear it. This was about protecting Augustine and their baby, and the throne of Isavere, her child’s legacy.
If the truth came out about her past, about who she was and what she’d done, no one would want her on any kind of throne. Her very presence would stain it, not to mention the man who held it. And as for that man, well, protectiveness was in his nature, especially of his country. If he knew what she’d done she’d be lucky if he let her stay in Isavere itself, let alone the castle. He might not even want her anywhere near their child.
It’s no less than what you deserve.
Her heart ached, the truth eating away at her like acid.
It was true. She didn’t deserve to be here, in this beautiful place, doing a job she loved with the man she adored. What she should be doing was putting in place plans to leave once the child was born, so they’d never have to know what a coward and a liar their mother was. But she was weak. She had to stay.
The wind whipped her hair about her face, lifting her silk robe and making it billow. She shivered. It was cold on the battlements, despite the dawn creeping over the horizon and painting the snow on the mountains glorious golds and pinks and oranges.
Yet she couldn’t take any pleasure in the view today, not with the ice that sat in her gut.
‘How very gothic of you, Freddie,’ a deep, warm male voice said from behind her. ‘Wandering about my battlements in your dressing gown.’
She froze. Oh, God, what washedoing out here?
‘You’re cold,’ he went on. ‘Silk is a great insulator, but you really need something over the top of it. Did no one ever tell you that?’ Then much to her shock, a pair of powerful arms came around her, pulling her against the hard body and intense heat of the man behind her.
She stiffened, her heartbeat instantly racing, her mouth dry. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I couldn’t sleep. Coming up here blows the cobwebs away. No,’ he added softly. ‘Relax. You’re cold and I’m not, and I’m only going to warm you up, nothing more.’
Relax? How could she relax when all she wanted was to melt into his warmth, take his heat. Let his strength carry her, because she was so tired of doing this all on her own.
The weight of her secrets felt abruptly so heavy, a mountain she’d been carrying for so long she’d forgotten the weight of it all. A mountain that was crushing her. And she had no one to help her. No one to take the weight for her, even for a moment.
She’d been alone for a few years before she’d come to Isavere, running all the time. And now she’d finally found a place to rest...
You ruined it. You ruined it for him and yourself. You always ruin everything.
She shut her eyes, trying to ignore the thought, but it was lodged too firmly deep in her heart.
As if he could sense her distress, Augustine’s arms tightened around her, and she couldn’t help it, she did what he said, relaxing against him, into the astonishing heat of his powerful body, letting the delicious scent of him surround her. Taking a moment to give in to the weakness, to let someone else hold her up.
Only a moment, though. Not long. She was allowed that wasn’t she?
