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“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry. I was startled, and I fell. I should’ve held on to the ladder.”
“No,” he said. He touched her face, and found that her skin was as soft as he’d imagined. “You’re okay?”
“Yes.”
He moved away from her, conscious of the ever-growing desire inside of him, and of the fact that he... He had lost himself. That had never happened before.
Yes, it has.
Only in sleep. Night terrors, yes. He had those. They had to make sure he had nothing loose in his cell during those times, because he threw things. Because he was dangerous. To himself and anyone who was standing outside the cell, but it was easy for him to understand why that happened. He was lost in those moments between sleep and wakefulness, and it made sense that he didn’t have a firm grasp on reality.
But this...
This was something else altogether. If he could do this during the day...
No one would ever be safe around him. There was no question, he had to take Brianna’s help, or he would not be safe for those in the palace.
There was also no question, he had to protect her. From him.
“Where’s the man?”
“He left,” she said softly. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry, we...”
“I could’ve hurt you.”
“But you didn’t,” she said.
“No,” he agreed. But the possibility still remained, and he did not know how she could be so... Sanguine about it.
And he realized... He was just one of the many monsters that she had helped reform. By her own account.
So perhaps there was nothing about this that surprised her at all.
Perhaps they all lost themselves and had moments of insanity. Perhaps she had been held in all of their arms.
He growled.
“Now what?”
“I must make amends,” he said, deciding not to tell her the real reason that he had growled.
“You don’t need to make amends, Riyaz.”
“I should go back to the dungeon for a while.”
“You don’t need to do that...”
But his decision was made. So he turned and left her standing there. And when he got down into the dungeon, he realized that he had forgotten to bring the books.
CHAPTER FOUR
WELL,THATHADbeen a disaster.
She was still trembling. His fury had been awe-inspiring and terrible to see. It had been so frightening. Pretending that she hadn’t been scared had been one of the most difficult things she’d ever done.
But she could see the horror on his face. She hadn’t wanted to add to it by showing him he’d scared her.
She took a breath and looked around the destroyed library. And only then did she put her palm to her chest and feel the raging of her heartbeat.
