AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A crease appeared between her brows. “Are you asking if I was assaulted?”
“Yes. Either way, I owe you an apology. I held you because I thought you were beautiful. And I wanted to touch you. I assumed that you wanted the same thing, but I did not make sure. And now that you’ve told me these things...”
“I wasn’t,” she said. “But I appreciate you asking. I... I did want you to hold me. It’s only that I thought better of it.”
“I can’t understand that either.” The empty cavern of misunderstanding in him seemed endless.
“What? Thinking better of something?”
“I was denied a great many things being locked away. I don’t understand why you would deny yourself, with all the freedom that you have.”
“Says the man who is opting to eat the same porridge every day? Sometimes you deny yourself because you know that something is too much for you to handle, Riyaz. That’s why. Can you not understand that? Can you not see that I have to...? I have to protect myself.”
“Then you had best go. I wish to protect you from me. But if you stay... I will find it harder and harder to do so, particularly now that I have confirmed that you enjoyed being held.”
She finished getting out of the pool, and went to collect her robe. She hesitated for a moment, and then pulled it on. Then she looked back at him one more time before walking away.
She had no idea what had just happened. Her body and all the rest of her was still buzzing the next day at breakfast.
Riyaz didn’t come to breakfast, and she didn’t go looking for him. He was probably in the dungeon. Instead, she sat there over a plate of waffles—they had stocked the palace with American foods for her, one of Cairo’s thoughtful gestures, damn him for being so good—reflecting on what it had felt like to be held against Riyaz’s strong body. On why she had shared anything about her past with him and why... Why she had admitted that she liked him touching her.
Maybe because she couldn’t stand him feeling guilty.
He was so blunt and strange, and he asked all kinds of things that he shouldn’t. That polite, normal people would know not to ask. But he was neither polite nor normal. So he had just gone and asked after her potential trauma as if it was as easy as yes or no.
But then he made it very clear why. He hadn’t wanted to be part of taking away her choice. And she couldn’t help but marvel at the sensitivity, for all that the man didn’t seem to have an excess of it.
And she had felt like she couldn’t lie to him. Of course she had enjoyed him touching her. The press of his lips against her neck... It had kept her awake.
She wondered why he had kissed her there. She wondered why any of it. Why had she told him that she loved Cairo? And why had she confessed her deepest dreams... Being normal. Living in a regular house.
She was supposed to be taking care of him. She was supposed to be helping him. And yet she had ended up... Talking to him as if he was her therapist or something and... It was all just wrong.
She had never gotten attached to somebody that she was working with like this.
And they had only known each other for two days. The way that he had dismissed that, as if it was so obvious that the two days they had spent together were more significant than the time suggested.
And it was. She couldn’t explain why. She only knew that it was.
When she was halfway through her waffles, he strode into the room. “My brother has collected Ariel.”
“Oh,” she said, her heart slamming against her breastbone. “She is not amenable to the marriage. Which is unfortunate. But he said he cannot bring her here now.”
“Right. Well...” She knew that was because of her. Because of the report that she had given back to Cairo, but she hesitated to admit it to Riyaz.
She needed him to be able to focus and not have distractions, that much was true. So maybe she could express that without admitting that she had actually told Cairo that she feared slightly for Ariel’s safety. She wasn’t sure that was true anymore. She didn’t think Riyaz was dangerous. Not in that way.
“What is this?” he said, gesturing to the plate that was in his spot.
“Belgian waffles. I thought you would probably like them.”
“Are you going to lecture me on self-denial?”
“I was thinking about it. Since you had so much to say about mine.”
“All right. I will try the waffles.”
“Why don’t you try having three adventurous meals with me today.”
