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And when I answer it, the plans change.
After we drop Val off in Chicago, I’m going to Costa Rica. Because that’s where Casey is.
CHAPTER73
Val
My lipsstill tingle from Dominic’s goodbye kiss as I walk up the stairs toward our bedroom.
I hate that he’s gone again. But at least I can do this next part with privacy.
Just breathe.
My feet take me through the bedroom, into the bathroom.
I’ve already decided that I’m going to do this. Because I need to know. So I don’t hesitate. I walk straight to the cabinet next to my sink and open it, taking out the leather bag.
My fingers shake a little as I unzip the top and pull out the slender box.
It’s just a moment. One moment in time.
“You can do this,” I say, trying to convince myself that I’m not terrified.
I read the instructions on the side of the box. Then I read them three more times.
I’ve never had to take an at-home test before. I’ve never had so much as a pregnancy scare before. But now… Well, now I can’t imagine having done this before today. Like some of the other broke girls I went to college with, taking these tests in their early twenties. I don’t know how they survived the stress. At least I’m more financially secure than I ever could have dreamed of. And I’m with someone I’m pretty sure I’m in love with. And he comes with a big family that would certainly be involved in our child’s life.
But even with all that, I’m still terrified.
And even though I want a family more than anything, I don’t know if having the baby is the right choice.
It’s too soon.
This life is too dangerous.
People are actively trying to kill my husband.
We need round-the-clock security.
And yet…
I rip the box open and take out one of the two sealed tests within.
Reading the box one more time, I set it down and tear open the packaging around the testing stick.
It looks just like it does on TV. Exactly like the picture on the box.
“Just pee on the stick for five seconds. Set the stick on the counter. Wait.”
Worried I might accidentally pee on my hand, I decide I don’t want to have to deal with pulling my pants back up, so I shove them and my underwear off. Then I walk to the little toilet room with nothing but my shirt on and leave the door open.
I purposefully didn’t go to the bathroom after we landed, and now I really have to pee, so even though I’m freaking out, I sit with my legs spread wide and immediately start to go.
And I pee on the stick.
Five seconds feels like forever. But I can’t really stop going once I start, so now I’m just sitting here, holding the peed-on test in front of me while I finish.
It’s going to be fine.
