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Somehow, I’ve managed to suppress them, likely the longest stretch without an episode. But here they are again, uninvited guests stirring up a whirlwind of post-traumatic stress while my brother’s life hangs in the balance on the hospital bed.
I grit my teeth. “Not now,” I mutter under my breath. “Nova, you got this.”
I have to finish tending to Banger’s wounds, so I gather every ounce of willpower to push them back.
“Not this time, motherfucker.”
I suck in a deep breath through my nose, hold it for a moment, then slowly release it through my mouth. The rhythmic pattern of breathing exercises the Army psychiatrist had drilled into me becomes my anchor in the shit storm of my mind. With each inhale and exhale, my racing heart slows, and the haunting memories shrink into the shadowy darkness of my psyche.
“Stay with me, brother,” I whisper, my voice barely audible in the sterile room. The words resonate deep within me, echoing with a conviction that’s new to me. This fight isn’t just for Banger—it’s for me, too.
“Dr. Bishop?”
The sound of Sophie’s voice pulls me from the past and drops me squarely here in the present. Her tone tells me this isn’t the first time she’s said my name, and I look over my shoulder at my nurse. “Yes, Sophie?”
Her tense shoulders sag slightly in relief. “His blood pressure’s dropping again,” she says, her words laced with worry. “I’m concerned there may be an infection we haven’t caught yet.”
Nurse Sophie’s never been one to cry wolf. If she’s worried, there’s a good reason for it. “It could be his body adjusting to the blood loss,” I respond, the clinical part of my mind taking over. “But let’s run some more tests. Make sure it’s not some nasty bug.”
“Of course, Dr. Bishop. “Hannah’s already gone, but I’m on the late shift tonight, so I’ll keep an eye on Joaquin.” She smiles, probably remembering how he’d flirt mercilessly with her when he was a prospect. “You’ll be my first call if things head south.”
I grunt an acknowledgment, my eyes going back to Banger. He’s got to pull through. No, fuck that. He will pull through this and come back stronger. I’m going to make damn sure that’s the case. Whatever it takes. I will never let another brother die on my watch. “I appreciate it, Sophie.”
She reaches out and lays a hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. “Try to get some sleep, Doctor. You can’t help him if you’re exhausted. Tank and Stone are here now. We’ll be safe.”
Tank’s a mountain of a man, tough as they come. A touch slower than me, but his brute strength more than makes up for it. And Stone? The kid got mixed up in the wrong crowd. Sent here by his old man, Gunnar, from the Reckless Souls, to wait out some shit storm back in Texas. Not a small fry either.
Both men are loyal as fuck, so I feel okay leaving them here to stand sentry for Banger.
And Sophie knows her stuff. Got a good head on her shoulders. We also pay her a pretty penny to keep her mouth shut.
It’s worth it to have that kind of loyalty.
I nod. “Thank you.” With one last look at Banger, I turn and leave the room and head down the hall to wash my hands and get out of my scrubs and into my civvies.
“How is he?” I look up from the sink to see Ace standing in the doorway, Shades and Dix flanking him. “Any progress?”
“None yet,” I grunt and turn off the water. “He’s still unconscious, but he’s healing, and that’s a good sign. It’s better for him to be out of it right now. He’ll heal faster.” I keep my expression impassive the same way I do with every other family member I’ve ever spoken to under these circumstances. “His body needs time.”
Ace nods, jaw grinding at the unsatisfactory answer, but he knows if I had more to add, I would.
“Any news on Willow?” There’s no doubt in our minds the Bloodthirsty Devils have her. The question is whether she’s still alive. With Banger still unconscious, we have no idea what happened.
“Fuck no,” Dix growls. Banger is like a kid brother to him, and he knows how bad it will hurt him if we don’t find Willow before he wakes up. “They kidnapped her without a fucking doubt,” he says, his eyes flashing the anger we all feel. “The only issue right now is where they’re holding her.”
“And if she’s still alive,” Shades adds with a grim expression.
“Don’t fucking say that,” Dix blurts out, shaking his head as if the thought is just too much to bear.
Shades shrugs. “Either way, those assholes are dead. For Banger’s sake, I hope Willow is alive and pissing those motherfuckers off.”
Dix is taking this harder than any of us expected. “You know what they were doing out there? Looking at houses, man. He’s ready to take it to the next level. Leave the clubhouse and be with his girl.” He lifts his hands in a helpless gesture. “He’ll be okay?”
I give him a grim smile. “I’ll make sure he is.”
Ace gives a sharp nod. “You about done here?”
I acknowledge his signal talk. “What’s up, boss?”
