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I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.
“That’s it.”
The fast thudding suddenly became the most important thing in my life. My eyes filled with tears and blurred my vision as the sound filled the room. Saxon’s hand covered mine, and I turned my palm up to thread my fingers through his. He squeezed, and I looked up at him. There was an awed look on his face that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. It was overwhelming.
“It’s a nice, strong one hundred sixty-two. That’s right where it needs to be,” she said, then reached over and handed me a tissue. “It’s emotional, hearing that sound. Especially the first time. I’ll step out, and you can undress from the waist down. Then, get back up here and cover up with this blanket.” She handed me a soft, folded cloth.
“Okay. Thank you,” I replied, taking it.
She went to the door, and I stood up.
“I’ll, uh, step out,” Saxon said before walking to the door.
If we were a regular expectant couple, he would sit in here while I changed, but we weren’t. I wouldn’t let it get me down. Not after hearing the heartbeat. My baby was okay. It had a strong heartbeat. I smiled the rest of the appointment. My chest was so full of joy that it ached.
Sixteen
Saxon
Trev sat down on a bale of hay and studied me for a moment. I’d called him because I needed to talk to someone. Taking Haisley to the yoga studio this morning after the shit that bastard pulled yesterday, touching her, had been fucking hard. Since coming back to the stables, I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. I couldn’t focus. I wanted to go back to that damn studio and make sure everyone understood Haisley was off-limits. At least she had on a top that covered her tits today. Had I known she was going to wear a top that looked like the red one she’d worn at the house to do yoga, I’d have bought her bigger ones immediately. Not that the bigger size covered all I wanted them to. You could still see they were fucking big and bouncy and—
Dammit!
“So, y’all aren’t fucking?” Trev asked again.
Why had I called him? Had I really thought he’d be helpful?
“NO! We aren’t doing anything. She ended shit with me. Remember? Shut me out. Completely ghosted me.”
Trev nodded. “And now, she’s pregnant with your baby, living in your house.”
I threw up my hands in frustration. “SO! That means I just go back to the way we were? She’s knocked up, and I’m now in her life by force. She didn’t want me in her life. Now, she has no fucking choice. I don’t want to be a forced choice. I want to be someone’s first choice. I want to be with someone who wants me,” I shouted.
I needed to calm down. This wasn’t shit I wanted the entire stables to know about.
“You heard the heartbeat. It got to you,” Trev said.
Hell yeah, it had gotten to me. It had made my knees weak, and fuck if I hadn’t been on the verge of crying. No one prepared you for that. Ever. No one told you that this foreign thing in a woman’s body that you’d helped create would become real with that sound. SO fucking real. All I could think about was, I wanted them. I wanted both of them. I didn’t want them to leave me. Ever. I wanted to be there for every moment that kid had in life. Not seeing it every other weekend or whatever bullshit arrangement we came up with.
“Forget about the past. You’ve got to let that shit go. Do you want her? Are you attracted to her?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. Of course. Have you looked at her?”
Trev shrugged. “Dude, I can’t see past Gypsi. Other women don’t rank anymore.”
I sank down on the bench and dropped my head in my hands.
“It’s more than, is she hot? Do you want her? Would being with her be enough for you? Would she be it? The one who blinds you to all other females?”
Fuck. “Yeah,” I admitted.
“Then, you gotta put on that good-guy charm shit you are so good at. Make her want you the same way. Not because she’s your baby momma. Because you’re you. Fuck, if I hadn’t gotten my head on straight, you could have upped and snatched Gypsi from me. Then, I’d have had to kill my best friend. You got some powerful mojo, dude. You know the right things to say and do. You have that thoughtful, romantic shit perfected. Use it. Make her fall in love with you.”
I lifted my head to look at him. “I don’t know how to do it with her. There’s so much shit between us now. How would I even start? It’s like going backward.”
