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“If you want to stay here, you can, but Saxon really wants to see you. He’s been texting me all day, worried about you,” she said softly.
I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to cry. How did I deal with this?
“I don’t think I can …” I couldn’t say the words.
Part of me wanted to see him so bad that it physically hurt. The other part kept screaming at me that he had killed my brother.
“This life, what they do, it’s not easy. It takes some adjusting. But at the end of the day, no matter what I know Huck has done, I can’t imagine a life without him. It requires unconditional love to live this life by their side.”
“He killed my brother,” I said. I knew she’d already been told what happened, but I needed to hear myself say the words aloud. See if I could face it.
“I know.” She reached out and laid her hand over mine. “He’s not the first one who has killed a family member of someone they love. Maybe Maddy will tell you about it sometime. I wasn’t here then, but she struggled hard until Blaise went to her and explained what had happened. Why he had done it. Saxon is one of the nicest guys I know. If you love him, then you need to let him in. Let him explain it.”
She squeezed my hand as a tear ran down my face.
“What if it’s not enough?” I whisper.
“If your love for him is unconditional, it will be,” she replied.
A door slammed, and I looked up to see Kye walk into the room. He was holding a bloody cloth to his nose, and his eye looked like it had a cut over it.
“Kye! What happened to you?!” Trinity asked, jumping up and going over to him.
“I’m fine,” he grunted, then looked at me. “Are you making Saxon stay outside? Dude has had a fucking hard night. Jesus, at least let him come in and eat.”
My heart sped up. “He’s outside?” I asked, not sure if I should be ashamed of the sudden urge to run outside and throw my arms around him or feel relieved that he was here.
“Yeah, sitting on the tailgate of his truck, looking like the saddest fuck alive. Give him a break,” he said, shaking his head as if he was disgusted with me before walking toward the kitchen. “I smell food. Trinity, I love you!” he told her.
“He’s been there since noon,” Trinity said, turning back to me. “He came straight here from the airport.”
I covered my face with my hands. I missed him so much. He was out there, not pushing me to see him. He was always so selfless. He put me first with everything. It was hard to accept that he could also kill a person. Specifically my brother. It didn’t fit with what I knew of Saxon.
“I was going to take him a plate of food. I took him some lunch but that was hours ago. Do you want to?” she asked.
I didn’t want him sitting outside. I’d thought he’d be at home. But I also didn’t want him to leave me.
“Why didn’t he go home? He’s got to be tired and hungry.”
“He loves you,” she said with a sad smile. “I need to go get the rest of the food out of the oven. Let me know what you want to do.”
I unwrapped the blanket from around me. “I’ll go talk to him.”
She smiled. “Good.”
Kye walked back into the room with a brownie in his hand and his mouth full and blood coming out of both sides of his nose. He saw me get up, and he studied me hard as he chewed, then swallowed. “You going out there to see him?” he asked me.
“Leave her alone, Kye,” Trinity told him. “And go wash your face.”
He looked at Trinity and shrugged. “I was just asking. I’m worried about him. She wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him—”
“Kye!” Trinity said sharply, stopping him from what he was going to say.
“Whatever,” he grumbled, turning and walking back to the kitchen.
I made my way to the front door, feeling more anxious with every step. By the time I opened it, my chest felt like it was going to burst. Saxon was sitting on the back of his truck. His cowboy hat shadowed his face, but I knew the moment he saw me. He stood up but stayed where he was. His entire body was rigid, and I wished I could see his expression. The closer I got, the more of his face I could see.
He reached up and tilted his hat back, as if he could read my mind. There were dark circles under his eyes and a cut on his right cheek. His bottom lip looked busted.
