Page 83 of Smokin' Hot (Smoke)


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Our eyes were still locked on each other as we looked into the mirror. “Where is AJ’s body?” I asked.

The expression on his face was etched with pain and regret. “It’s gone.”

I nodded. He couldn’t tell me what they’d done. That was part of this life too. One I had to accept if I wanted to be with Saxon.

“My mom won’t know he’s dead, will she?”

He shook his head.

I sighed. Maybe that was for the best. I never wanted any of them to know what AJ had done. What he’d said to me. What he’d said about Mom. It was easier if they remembered the brother he’d been. He hadn’t exactly been a great one. They didn’t miss him. The boys barely mentioned him.

“I’m sorry,” Saxon whispered.

“I know,” I replied.

“He took you.” He closed his eyes for a minute and inhaled deeply. The veins on his neck were showing as he flexed jaw. His eyes opened back up. “He let them touch you. Hurt you.”

I turned around and placed a hand on his chest. “I know.”

“Come home with me,” he pleaded. “I just want to be alone with you. I need to hold you.”

I needed that too.

Thirty-Two

Saxon

Haisley lay, curled up in my lap, asleep as the ball dropped in Times Square. I picked up the remote and turned off the television. She’d been asleep for the past two hours. I wasn’t ready to take her to bed yet. Holding her like this was the only thing that eased my inner turmoil since I’d realized she had been taken yesterday morning.

I had thought that when I killed a man, it would be in self-defense. I didn’t know what Haisley was thinking, and I was terrified that if I pushed her to talk about it, she’d change her mind and leave me. But when I had taken my gun and shot AJ, it had been out of pure rage. I had acted without thinking.

He’d taken her, had her tied up, given her to a fucking gang. I wanted to kill him for that, but I was trying to remain in control. When he started spewing all that cruel shit from his mouth at her, I just snapped. I wanted to shut him up. I couldn’t stand that he was hurting her. The fury that coursed through me and the need to protect her took over. Blaise hadn’t ordered me to kill AJ. I just did it. Not thinking about the way his death would hurt her. That hadn’t registered in my head at the time.

Fuck, it sure had when I heard her scream. Her eyes, wide with horror, had torn through me like a blade. I never wanted to experience that again.

I kissed the top of her head. Carmichael had said she was fine and that the baby’s heartbeat was strong. Nothing had harmed either of them physically. But the pain she’d suffered emotionally was something that was going to take time. I just wanted that healing to happen with me. Not away from me.

She stretched, and her lashes fluttered before she opened her eyes, gazing up at me. “Oh no,” she whispered. “I slept through midnight.”

I brushed the hair off her face. “It’s okay. You needed sleep.”

She covered her mouth as she yawned, shifting in my lap to sit up. “You need sleep too. Let’s go to bed.”

I reluctantly let her stand up and then followed her. She had taken a shower and put on one of my T-shirts earlier this evening. Seeing her in my clothes always made the possessiveness inside me stir. I wanted to take her to my bed and make her come on my mouth, but other than a few kisses, she didn’t seem ready for anything sexual.

I could wait. As long as she was beside me, I could deal with anything. My need to mark her and remind her that she was mine wasn’t what she needed emotionally. I just had to remind myself of that, especially as my gaze traveled over her bare legs while the shirt rode up as she climbed into bed, flashing me her pink panties.

I pulled my shirt off and took off my sweats, leaving my boxer briefs on before turning off the light and joining her. Thankfully, she scooted up against me, and when I put my arm around her waist, she laid hers on top of it.

“Good night,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“Good night. I love you.”

Sleep came faster than I’d thought it would.

Waking up with my dick so hard that it hurt, I left Haisley in bed to go take a shower and get myself off to get some relief. She was still sleeping when I was finished, and I knew she needed to rest. I went to the kitchen to make some coffee and prepare for when she woke up.

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