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“You’re worse than my mom.” She’s aware of my extracurricular activities with women and let’s just say she’s not a fan, especially when I sleep with guests attending one of her parties. My mother is on the board of one of NYC’s top hospitals and she knows a lot of people who have a lot of single daughters.
Gabe punches me on the shoulder. “That’s probably why she loves me more than you.”
“Yeah, you’re not wrong about that.” My mother would adopt him if she could. To her, he’s the perfect gentleman who does no wrong.
“Anyways, I’ll catch ya later,” I continue. “Have fun tonight, and find someone to take home, will you?”
“Yeah, yeah, get out of here,” he says before walking away.
I make my way to the elevator and wait for it to arrive. Glancing over at Lexi, I find her no longer dancing but staring at me from the bar instead. Reluctantly, I look away. Her eyes are my undoing. With just one look, she has the power to take a piece of me, the part I keep locked away with my demons.
Gripping the back of my neck, I enter the elevator, finally escaping the intensity in her eyes. Leaving was the right decision. I can’t wait to be home and far away from her. Hopefully, I don’t have to see her again for a while.
Once outside, I call for an Uber and wait against the rolling shutters of the Chinese restaurant next door. Other than the traffic, the street is devoid of people, minus a straggler or two walking by. There aren’t any other places to party around here so being that it’s past one in the morning most people are out somewhere else.
In the stillness of the night, my mind travels to the darkest corners, places I hate to be. War. Loss. Death. Always death. It’s part of me, ingrained so deep, and every night I bathe in its blood. Sometimes, I wish I never enlisted. Life would’ve been so different. I could’ve been the man Lexi deserves, could’ve maybe had a real shot at being with her, and Jace—he’d be alive. But instead, he’s rotting away and it’s all my fault.
“Fuck!” I pace back and forth. “Why did you have to take him? Why not me?” I shout, forcing a fist to my chest, making it hurt, but it’s still not nearly as bad as he hurt, not even close. I suppress the painful lump lodged in my throat. I can’t wait thirty minutes for this damn car. Maybe I should walk.
“Talking to yourself?” asks a voice behind me. I stop mid-stride, my heart pounding against my rib cage. Lexi’s voice ripples through the air, swallowing me. The last thing I need is to see her again and picture that body wrapped up in someone else, to know I’ll never be hers and she’ll never be mine. She’ll be someone else’s wife and someone else’s lover, and I’ll be nothing but a man she once knew. But to me, she’ll always be the one who made me question everything.
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be upstairs with your boyfriend?” Her heels clack along the pavement, moving closer.
“I should askyouthe same thing.” Her words carry a twinge of anger.Is she fucking kidding? She has no reason to be mad. She started this.
I flip around and we’re face to face. “Go back upstairs,” I warn, my gaze dipping to her pink lips as her tongue takes a seductive swipe along the seam.
“Make me,” she goads, lifting a brow in challenge. And in her eyes, I see it, the wicked sparkle there, taunting me.
I tighten my jaw. “Don’t start something unless you want me to finish it.”
“You don’t scare me, Jax.” Her lips tug at the corners. Her smile is fire, air, and damn near salvation.
Before I can think, I grab her hard around the back of her neck, slamming her lips against mine. She opens her mouth, hot and wild, her tongue twisting with mine, her fingers clenching hard against my shirt like she wants to rip it off. I roll her hair around my wrist, my fingers buried in her soft strands.
I tear our lips apart and suck on her earlobe, biting it until she groans like she wants this to hurt as much as I do.
“Did you like his hands on you?” My voice is low and gruff against the outer curve of her ear.
“Jax…” she moans through a shaky breath.
Her strands still wrapped tightly around my hand, I pin her body to mine, and walk her backward until she collides with the shutters of the restaurant, now rattling from the force.
My other hand slides down to her thigh and my fingers wander up the smooth stretch of skin.
“Tell me.” I reach up, brushing a finger against her panties. “Did you want him here?”
She angles her head back, eyes drifting shut as she pants.
“Hmm?” I slide her panties to the side and run my thumb down her wet lips. “Did you want him to touch you like this?”
“Yesss, I—I mean no…please.”
“Which one is it?” I sink my finger in deeper until I reach her very wet opening, pushing my thumb inside. “Or maybe you wanted him to touch you like this?” I flick her slippery clit and her hands jump to my biceps, fingernails digging firmly into my muscles. She cries out, her thighs trembling around my knees as I edge her closer to falling apart.
“You…I wanted you,” she whispers, dragging her hazy eyes to meet mine. “Not him.”
I slam two fingers inside her and she moans long and deep. “What was that, baby? I didn’t quite catch that.” I plunge in and out, fucking her right there on the street.
