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“Lex, this isn’t…um.” I turn my icy stare to him. From the corner of my eye she scrambles away from the desk and to the corner of the room where I no longer have to look at her.I know you’re still there, bitch.
“This isn’t what, motherfucker?” He won’t meet my eyes, staring at the floor, rubbing his mouth with his fingers.
“Look at me.” He still won’t look up. “Face what you did, you fucking coward.”
Clack. I trudge forward.Clack. Another step and I’m right in front of him. My heart beats wildly, my pulse screams, the rage builds and builds, and I stand in front of a brick wall needing to shatter it, needing to hurt it.
And I do. I punch him square on his chin. Hard.
“Fuck!” he hollers, rubbing the pain away. I’m not even a violent person, but rage feels better than pain, rage has a purpose, and I just served it.
I start to back away, needing to be as far away from him as possible.
“Lexi, please wait. She means nothing. It was just this one time. I…I was weak. I’m sorry.”
But his brown gaze is swimming with deception, masking it in fabricated truth. I guess he forgets how well I know him. “How could you?” I gulp away the raw ache crawling up my throat. “How did I miss the kind of man you are, huh? You’ve ruined everything!”
I take a deep breath and lower my voice. I don’t want him to see me lose it completely. I’m better than this.
“I hope—I hope she breaks your heart as badly as you broke mine. And when you’re broken, I hope someone comes around and breaks you some more until all you are is nothing, because that’s what you are—nothing.” I pick up the bag with sesame chicken and throw it against his chest.
“Shit,” he mutters. And as he attempts to swipe off the contents that made it up to his face, I rush down the hall, not nearly satisfied. The hallway seems longer than before.Damn it, I wish I weren’t wearing these heels. Once I reach the elevator, I pound on the button, hearing his footsteps rapidly approaching until he’s right behind me.
“Lexi, please don’t do this! I love you. It’s only ever been you.” He keeps talking but I wish he’d just shut up. Every word cuts deeper, every word more deceitful than the one that came before it.
“I messed up, okay? I know! Goddamn it!” His voice cracks a bit, but he quickly recovers. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I fucked it up.”
Yeah, you did, you piece of shit. I’ll never forgive a cheater.
I ignore him, staring at the doors willing them to open, while biting down on the inside of my cheek to stop the stream of tears that beg to show him what he’s done. But I won’t. He can’t have my pain, nor my vulnerability.
“Please, baby, say something. Tell me what I can do!” His voice swirls with emotion, and I hope he chokes on it.
At almost twenty-eight, I had my entire life mapped out with a man who had my heart from the moment we kissed, almost three years ago, but he obliterated it in an instant. And no matter how much I wish we could go back, this is the end of what was and what could’ve been.
I turn to him, eyes narrowed just as the ding of the elevator lets me know it’s finally arrived. “What youcando is go to hell!” I enter the elevator and he doesn’t stop me. He knows this is over as much as I do.
And just as the doors are about to close, I remove the ring he gave me on one of the best days of my life and I toss it at his feet, right next to my barely beating heart.
“Lexi…” His words cut off as the doors slide closed. What a fool I’ve been for ever believing I’ve found the one. It was nothing but an illusion. The walls within my chest squeeze tight and I claw at my torso in hopes of making the pain stop, of allowing my lungs to draw in a much needed breath. I begin to crumble, but I can’t cry, not now, and not here.
Hold yourself together. Just a little longer.
The doors part and I manage to get out. I don’t make eye contact with Chris as I pass his desk. He stands once he sees me. “Bye Le….are you okay?” I nod as I lift my hand in a small wave, too humiliated to look at him, then scramble out the door. Did he know Aiden was playing me for a fool as I was going up there? I’d like to believe he didn’t. He sure didn’t act that way.
The warm night doesn’t feel as hot anymore, it’s frigid, biting against my exposed flesh and sinking into the marrow of my bones. I shiver, goosebumps rising across my skin as I make my way to the car.
My hand trembles furiously as I open the door and slip inside, glad to finally be alone. But as soon as I start the engine, a sob rips free and then another, and soon I’m swallowed up by an angry ocean of tears and a tidal wave of heartbreak.
CHAPTER1
LEXI
PRESENT DAY
I did a bad,badthing. I gave a guy my number two weeks ago, one I knew right away wasn’t right for me, one I knew was the type of man mothers warn their daughters about. You know the kind. The sexy as hell, body of a Spartan, face of an angel, but one that’ll crush your heart when you don’t even see it coming. Sometimes a girl can just tell. And after Aiden, my asshole radar is constantly scanning for a perceived threat.
But talking to Jax has been easy and comfortable. Our texts span for hours every day and I’m afraid for it to go anywhere else, even though he wants it to.
