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“Whoa, whoa,” I shift in my chair and shake my head a bit too forcefully, “don’t turn this into a soap opera. I don’t like her like that.” The denial tastes like acid on my tongue.
“You like her. You can lie to yourself all you want, but not to us,” Gabe continues. “I know you. I don’t know what’s holding you back but maybe it’s time to let that baggage go and try something more than meaningless fucking.”
“I kind of like my meaningless fucking.”I hate it. I only want her. Shit, this really does sound like a soap opera.
“Oh, yeah?” Gabe asks. “So why aren’t you doing your usual sleep with a girl and leave game you always play? You’re still with her for—what is it two weeks now?”
“Four,” I mutter.
Damian raises his brows, shock clearly etched on his features. “Whatdid you say?”
I clear my throat. “It’s been four weeks since ah…our meaningless sex journey commenced, well not including the first time, two months ago.” Or the time I finger fucked her at Damian’s party, but it’s best to keep certain things to myself before they have more ammunition against me.
Damian massages his forehead with his fingers and looks ready to kill me. “Two months ago? You mean you guys hooked up around the time Lilah went to the hospital? I fucking knew it!”
“You’re a genius, D,” I chuckle. “Yeah, we hooked up the night Lilah had surgery, but didn’t get together again for weeks, we did keep in touch though. She’s a cool girl.”And I think I’m in love with her and I don’t know what to do.
Damian appears speechless for once as he stares at me in disgust. I don’t blame him, I’m disgusted with myself too. Even though Gabe knew about Lexi and I fucking in my car, he said he wouldn’t tell Damian and I guess he stuck to his word. I’m kind of surprised Lilah didn’t tell him though.
“Look, Jax, if you care about her, if there’s any part of you that wants the real thing, then go after it. It’s worth it, man,” Gabe urges, “but don’t play games with her, don’t use her. She’s not a toy. Maybe you don’t have feelings, but she does. Be smart about this.”
I put on my Jax, the asshole of the year smile and play this the best way I know how. “You guys are so into your feelings. Go call Dr. Phil or some shit. What happened to a man just messing around casually with another consenting adult?”
“Get your head out of your ass for once and do the right thing,” Damian snaps back.
My foot bounces rapidly while my face shows no signs of how I truly feel.
He’s right. I need to end this, and I need to end it tonight.
* * *
LEXI
“I have to confess something,” I blurt out.
Lilah looks up at me from above her plate of fries and arches a brow. We’ve been here for twenty minutes and we’ve yet to talk about Jax. Truthfully, I’ve been changing the topic whenever she asked, so she stopped asking, but after one drink I need to tell her everything.
“So on a scale of sober to dancing topless on a table, how drunk do I need to be for this?” she asks.
“Probably somewhere between I love everyone to speaking languages no one understands.”
“Ok. Hold that thought.” She finishes her margarita as though it’s some sort of competition, then lifts her hand up to signal our waitress.
The bubbly young woman comes over to us, her black hair up high in a messy bun. “Hi, guys, what can I get ya?”
“I need another margarita, please, and keep them coming—for both of us,” Lilah motions with her hand.
“Coming right up, ladies.”
After she walks away, Lilah places her hands under her chin and smiles suspiciously.
“Stop looking at me like you can read my mind!” She has some of the deepest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, and when she looks at me it’s as though she knows what I’m thinking beforeIeven do. My sisters can’t even do that.
“I’m just,” she pinches her lips, “I think I know what you want to tell me but at the same time I don’t know.”
“Are you sure you’re not already drunk?”
The waitress places the drinks on our table and leaves. “I probably am. You never know with me being such a lightweight. But eh girls’ night, right?”
