Page 11 of Fragile Scars


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She brings the heel of her palms to her eyes and silently shatters, her body vibrating with tears. I want to move in closer, to wrap my body around hers like a shield, but I can’t.

“It’s okay, let it all out. Cry, scream, hell I’ll even let you punch me. Anything you need, and I do mean anything.” I try to keep my voice steady, but I’m irreversibly gutted. I can’t see a woman hurt without being affected, especially her. She affects me on a deep subconscious level, filling me with this sense of possessiveness I’ve never felt for another woman.

She sniffles then turns to me. I reach my hand out for her, wanting to take all that hurt away, even for a little bit. She looks at it, as if unsure whether it will snap her in half or give her comfort. Then she places her soft hand on top of mine and her tight grip lets me know she’s still in there somewhere.

We watch TV holding hands for a while, until she begins to move in a bit closer. She looks at me, brows pulled together in question. I gaze deep into those broken eyes and whisper, “Come here.”

She lets go of my hand and moves in close, until her body is pressed up against the warmth of mine. I encircle my arms around her and hold her tight, while her body sags against me, like it knows she’s safe. She digs her face into my shoulder and cries. Every sob is another twist to my gut. “I’m here. I’ll keep you safe. You don’t need to worry anymore.” I hold her tighter, never wanting to let go, needing to protect her like I couldn’t protect my mother.

She looks up at me then, tears sliding down her cheeks, “You can’t help me,” she trembles. “No one can.”

* * *

LILAH

He makes me feel so safe. It’s as if he has the power to take me away from my torturous life. I trust him instinctively. I simply don’t understand why, but I do. I don’t recall the last time I felt truly cared for.

I’m always walking on eggshells around Ash. Watching everything I do and everything I say. Any time he touches me, I flinch because even an innocent touch can turn violent in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes we refuse to see people for who they truly are, only seeing them for who we wish they were. That was my problem when he first began hurting me. Now, my eyes are wide open. But his grip is like cement. He won’t let me go until I lose a piece of myself in the process.

The night I met Damian at the bar, Ash had lost his temper because I’d forgotten to add beef to my baked ziti. He’d grabbed me around the back of my neck and shoved my face into the hot tray of food, until I felt the steam burning my face. He’d held me there while he’d hurled insults.You’re a brain-dead bitch. You ruined my fucking dinner. Once his rage was spent, he pushed me down onto the floor, spat at me, and walked out. The emotional abuse hurts the most. Those scars never heal.

As soon as he left, I grabbed my keys and called Lexi to meet me at the bar we go to after work sometimes. She’s a paralegal in my office and we were hired at the same time. I’m so grateful we hit it off from the start because she has turned out to be my only friend.

Lexi knows about the verbal abuse but not the other stuff. She has urged me to leave numerous times, but she doesn’t know why I stay. Maybe if she did, she’d understand why I let him chip away at my soul until he leaves nothing behind but a shadow.

I sink into Damian’s neck and let the tears fall. He kisses the top of my head; his arms envelop me in a barrier of strength. The affection he gives splits me in half and has me crying even more.Why couldn’t I meet you first?

His hand glides up and down my back. The touch is so comforting. I want to bottle it up so I can use it when I need it most. My eyes start to feel heavy, not only from the crying but from the need to sleep. “Stay.” I whisper across his neck. “I can’t sleep here alone.”

“Let me carry you to bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

My breath dies in my throat as I untangle myself and fix my gaze upon him. “No! I can’t sleep in there alone. Can you—sleep in the bed with me?” My chest feels like it’s on fire. He can’t leave me alone in that room tonight. I won’t survive it. I know I’m making a strange request from someone I barely know but I’m comfortable around him and I need that right now.

“Whatever you want. I told you, I wasn’t going anywhere. But if it’s easier, you can sleep at my place.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.” It’s like he knows what I need without me having to say it. “Look in the peephole please. Make sure he’s not out there.”

He looks at me as he captures my cheek in his palm, the same one Ash hurt, and there I see my pain reflected in his eyes. “You don’t need to be scared anymore. I’m here now. He won’t be able to lay one finger on you, not without going through me first.”

He lets me go and does what I asked anyway. As he gets up, I brush the tips of my fingers against my cheek, committing his touch to memory.

Once he returns, he reaches out his hand for mine just as I grab my cell phone. “Let’s go, baby girl.” His words drape me with warmth, while his hand provides me with a lifeline. I cling onto both with no intention of letting them go.

Chapter 7

Damian

Itake out one of my white T-shirts and place it on the bed. “This is for you, just in case you need it. I didn’t think you wanted to go back to your apartment to grab something to sleep in.” Her eyes are the windows to my own personal hell. They should never look so wrecked.

Her lower lip trembles. “Thank you. For everything.”

Unable to resist, I walk up and glide the back of my hand against the curve of her chin and gently tilt her face up to me. “No need to thank me.” My thumb reaches for her lower lip, but I pull back.What the hell is wrong with me?That’s not what she needs right now. My undeniable desire for her can take a back seat. She needs a friend.

“You’ll have the entire bed to yourself. I’ll stay on the couch.” She wraps her arms around herself and nods. “Let me go get you a bottle of water in case you wake up thirsty, the cool liquid might help ease your throat too.” I exit the room to give her some time to herself.

As I enter the kitchen, my mind becomes afflicted with images of her being choked, fighting him off to get free. My jaw clenches until my teeth ache.

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