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She glances over with a shocked expression on her face. “Cared for? You’ve never been in a relationship?”
“No, never. My past has been... That’s a conversation for another time.” Once my erection is no longer pulsating angrily, I reach out and hold her hand. “I can protect you Lilah. Please baby, let me.” She closes her eyes, her brows furrowing while I continue. “Gabe, Jax, and I are all ex-military, Delta Force to be specific. And now, the guys and I own a private security company and we don’t lack in connections or resources. I can help with whatever he has on you.”
She sighs, shaking her head. “I told you Damian, you can’t help me. I have to stay with him,” she whispers. “It’s for the best.”
It’d be less painful if she punched me in the dick.
“I know you don’t understand, but I don’t love him. I just can’t leave. Please don’t get involved,” she begs.
Too late.
The blood rushes through my head and the growing need to pummel something becomes strong. If he hurts her again, I won’t forgive myself, but how do I get her to finally see she has someone who can help? Cradling her face with both hands, I bring her closer until our lips are half a breath apart, and then I lean in and kiss her forehead. Before I change my mind, I let her go.
“Let me know when you decide to trust me. Until then, I can’t be around like this anymore. I feel too much for you. But I’ll always be here to help. You’re not alone, no matter what you believe.” And with that, I walk out the door.
* * *
LILAH
I’m caught between a man I desperately want and a man I can't escape. I haven’t seen Damian since that day, four days ago. I’ve cried so much; my eyes feel strange without any tears pouring out of them. I went to work and tried to pretend I was all right, but Lexi wasn’t fooled. She kept asking what had caused such a drastic mood shift, but I couldn’t tell her.
He hasn’t been in his apartment; I know because I would’ve heard him. He decided he had enough, and I don’t blame him. I hate myself just as much as he does.
But if I tell him the truth, he’ll want to kill Ash. I know it. I don’t want to risk him getting hurt or going to prison. I have to figure out a plan on my own. I can’t keep stalling whenever Ash brings up the future. He won’t accept no as an answer for too long and then who knows what he’ll do to me.
I lay in bed, unable to stop thinking about Damian. The last few days have given me a glimpse of what my life would be like without him and it’s devastating. Somehow, he came into my world when I needed him most and I can no longer picture it without him.
He’s right though, this isn’t fair to him. It doesn’t matter that I sleep with Ash because I have no choice. He deserves to have me all to himself, but that’ll never happen.
I keep thinking back to that night when we almost slept together. I just don’t know what got into me. Missing him so much made me crazy, crazier than I’ve ever been for any man. But I was also kind of angry he left and never texted me, even though I understood why. Once I saw him, all my feelings kind of jumbled together.
The way he pinned me up against the wall… that intoxicating kiss.Oh God.He stole the breath right out of my lungs. It’s so hard to feel what I feel for him, knowing he wants me too, yet knowing we can’t be together. I want to stop being afraid, but I can’t.
My body aches, needing him under me again. It felt like we belonged, like it was always just us. I never knew it could be like that with a man. Sex between Ash and I only has one goal: the climax. There’s never much frenzy or heat, not even in the beginning. But with Damian… He just makes me feel so good. I could only imagine what sex with him would be like. I don’t think I’ll ever recover.
Heat creeps up my body whenever I recall his hard shaft pressing in between my thighs or those strong hips thrusting into me with such depravity, I almost came.
I slide a hand down the length of my body until I feel the arousal coating my fingertips. I brush them over my clit imagining it’s his long tongue caressing me, making me arch up for more.
Plunging two fingers inside of me with one hand, I grab my breast with the other. Twisting my nipple between my fingers, I picture his teeth biting my pebbled flesh.
I thrust my fingers harder, faster until my orgasm hits like lighting and my toes curl. Every nerve ending is on fire. I close my eyes, hips arching up from the burst of pleasure. It takes a few minutes to come down from the high.
Not nearly satiated, I toss and turn until I get somewhat comfortable. I’ll never get the real Damian so I’ll take him in any capacity I can get.
Chapter 12
Damian
The last few days have been hell. Staying away from her has been almost impossible. I’ve been leaving my place early and coming home late just to avoid her. I’ve picked up the phone numerous times, typing out texts that were never sent. It’s hard to keep my distance when she’s all I think about.
The black punching bag whips around violently as I throw jab after jab. Heavy sweat drips down my body as my breaths come out labored. I’ve been at it for hours and I can’t seem to stop.
How the hell do I miss her so much when I’ve only known her for a few days? For her, I want to let go of the past and learn to trust myself. It figures when I finally meet a woman I want to slay my demons, she ends up belonging to a villain.
Bouncing on my feet, the bag flies back and forth from the force of my punches. My clenched fists ache underneath my gloved hands, but imagining that asshole’s face as I beat the bag to a pulp makes the pain worth it.
“Yo D, you planning on murdering that thing or what?” Jax asks from behind.
