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He stands, deftly opens the wine bottle, then picks up my wine glass, pouring some into it, and does the same to his. He grins as he sits back down. “Only the best for my girl. Instead of going out, I brought the restaurant to us. He’s supposed to be one of the best.”
“Well, I’m definitely surprised. Thank you. I’m sure the food will be amazing. Do you know what he’s making?” As long as it’s made quickly, allowing me to leave sooner, I really don’t care.
He picks up his glass and takes a few sips. “I told him to surprise us, so your guess is as good as mine.” He extends his hand toward the middle of the table, asking for mine. I give it to him, even though everything inside me screams no.
He moves to the edge of his seat, straightening his spine, and stares at me with piercing focus. “I love you, Lilah. I only want the best for you, and for us. You’re it for me babe and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to you. Therapy has really shown me how to manage my temper in more productive ways.”
I go still as my stomach rolls and my heart picks up speed. He wants the best forus? There’s no us! What can I say without leading him on? My knee bounces under the table while I formulate a response.
“I’m glad therapy is helping. I want the best for you too.” I remove my hand from his and reach for my glass.Where is the damn food? I take a big gulp of wine while Ash glares, unflinchingly. His expression is completely devoid of elation as he lets out a harsh breath and looks past me straight toward the kitchen.Oh no. Did he pick up on my words? Oh my God, he did.
Just as I’m about to wonder how long it will take for the food to arrive, Roberto approaches, carrying two white plates, setting them before us. “Your first course is a pesto and garlic shrimp bruschetta with feta cheese and a balsamic glaze. Enjoy.”
Then he retreats to the kitchen, letting us savor our meal alone. We remain quiet through our appetizer, which tastes delicious, but I’m barely enjoying it, too worried about what Ash is thinking.
The next course is a scallop and carrot salad with some sort of grapefruit dressing. I wish I was enjoying the food because this man can really cook, but I can’t seem to settle my nerves. “How are you liking the food?” Ash asks, finally breaking our silence.
“It’s delicious.” I smile. “Thanks again.” He cracks a grin and returns to his food. Phew, maybe this night won’t be as bad as I thought.
Finally, for our main entree, we’re served filet mignon with crushed tomato and garlic sauce with a side of sweet potato fries. I quickly move to finish it, praying I can get out of here after dessert. My desire for this night to end is much stronger than my love of food, and Ireallylove food.
Roberto comes back to collect our plates and brings us our dessert. “It was a pleasure cooking for you this evening. Enjoy the rest of your night.” Ash hands him an envelope with what I assume is cash inside, then our chef is gone, leaving us in weighty silence.
I take one small bite of the cake, so not to insult Ash, and push away my plate. I’m so stuffed anyway; I don’t think I could eat anymore even if I wanted to.
He clears his throat, watching me. “You’re not going to have the rest of your cake?”
“It looks good, but I’m still so full from all that tasty food.”
“Why don’t you try to have a few more bites,” he begs. “The middle is the best.” He cuts into his slice showing me the gooey chocolate filling in the center and puts a piece into his mouth.
Damn it. That does look good.I guess I can make some room forthat. As I begin cutting into my cake, he gets up to get some more napkins. I keep digging around but don’t find any chocolate filling in the center. I want some melty chocolate goodness too. Breaking it up some more, I find nothing but more cake. I turn around intending to tell Ash my cake is broken, except I don’t find him in the kitchen, instead I find him on the floor behind me.
Chapter 18
Lilah
Igasp, clutching my chest with both hands.No, no this can’t be happening! He said I’d have one month to decide if I wanted to stay with him. So why’s he down on one knee with hope burning brightly in his eyes. “Ash?”
He motions toward my plate. “Look in the cake, baby.” A beaming smile is pasted on his face. I look back at the cake. Picking up my fork, I dig through it with such ferocity I’m afraid I’ll chip the plate. But then I finally see it. The ring.
Fishing it out, I wipe the crumbs off it with my fingertips. A large, solitaire, princess cut stares at me, the tiny diamonds cascade down the band, sparkling in the light. I turn to him and he’s still on the floor, smiling like all the pieces of his life are about to fall into place.
“Ash, what is this?”
“Lilah, you and I have been through a lot together. Being without you even a day is too much for me. I want you in my life, not just as my girlfriend but my wife. I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
No. No. No.The nausea creeps up my throat. I’m definitely going to be sick. My hands are clammy and my throat goes dry. What do I say without angering him? “I appreciate everything you’ve done tonight,” I voice softly, running a hand nervously through my hair, “and for your willingness to see a therapist, but you told me I’d have a month to decide whether I wanted to be with you. That month isn’t up yet, so I—I don’t understand what’s happening.”
He’s still on the floor on bended knee but his smile is now gone. “I know it hasn’t been a month, but I thought you might be open to the possibility of starting your life with menow, seeing as how I changed. The last two weeks have been so good, haven’t they?”
I clutch the ring tightly in my fist, its sharp edges cutting into my hand. “Ash, a person can’t change overnight.” I try to smile but my lips tremble. “You have to give it time. There’s no rush, babe. It takes months, probably years, for a person to ahh—overcome these problems.”
He lowers his other knee and looks blankly at me. “Are you saying you won’t marry me?”
I gulp down the fear scratching its way up my throat. “All I’m saying is that it isn’t fair to push this on me when you’ve promised to give me more time to decide.”
He stands, inching closer. Dread pushes itself inside me while my hands shake. I clasp them together in hopes they stop, but it’s useless. He lowers his mouth to my ear. “You have to bepushedinto marrying me?” His voice is a sting across my flesh, like sharpened knives carving into me slowly.
