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"Uh - sure. I mean, yes. Of course. Come in."
Carter almost smiles at how fucking adorable Travis is, picturing the man half-asleep, rumpled, confused, and probably frowning.
"I have Carter on the phone," Casey says next. "I don't mean to be a dick or anything, and I don't mean to drag up memories between the two of you that will hurt you guys, but he's under the impression that he wasn't hurt like the rest of us and that he doesn't deserve the same care and recovery, and he's fucking wrong, so I don't care if you have to, like, step by step remind him of all the shit he's been through since I can't because I don't know much of it, or just in general tell him he's being ridiculous, but do… something. And then be all bossy and make him come tomorrow for counseling because this pretending he's fine shit is stupid and ridiculous and over." Casey huffs. "And I want to keep my phone, so you can call him using your own. Thank you and good night."
The call ends, Carter shocked and amused and a little bit nervous.
Seven seconds later - yes, he counts because he's a freak - his phone lights up again.
Carter swallows hard before answering. "Uh… hey."
"Hey, sweetheart. Want to tell me what that was about?"
"I mean, he pretty much did that for me, didn't he?"
"Fair." He can practically hear Travis frowning. He can definitely hear his worry when he speaks again. "I didn't realize that's what you were doing. Pretending. I thought you were really doing okay. Not great, not over things by any means, but… better."
"I thought I was too," Carter admits.
"You were hurt, Carter. Badly."
Carter shakes his head even though he can't be seen. "No, I-"
"I raped you.”
“Nathan raped me.”
“No, Carter. Me. All those little parts of me, I have to own them. They’re all me. And I raped you. In front of a crowd, like you were a fucking show for them to enjoy with their drinks, I raped you and took your virginity."
"Yeah." Carter forces a choked laugh. "And then you wrapped me in a blanket and checked to make sure I wasn't hurt and then fed me McDonalds and gave me a stuffed moose."
"A mindfuck," Travis counters. "Not exactly kindness."
"More kindness than the others were shown."
"Right. So, that must mean we're going to forget that I dragged you around by a leash? Let people pet you like a goddamn animal? Made you suck on my cock while everyone around you ate food and you starved?"
"Still not-"
"I made you rape yourself on my cock in front of-"
"-and you tried to make me feel good during it!" he says, cutting him off.
"Mindfuckery again," he says dismissively. "How about punishing you for daring to leave a bed?"
"That punishment was nothing compared to-"
"-I whipped you until you fucking pissed yourself, ignored you all day, starved you-"
"Still easier day than-"
"-and threatened to put you in a fucking dog cage."
"Yeah, threatened."
"Todd Henley," Travis says, and it's like a punch to the gut the way it steals Carter's breath.
Carter squeezes his eyes shut, memories flooding back in. Sometimes, out of nowhere, he swears he can taste Henley's piss on the back of his tongue.
