AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Henley was one night," Carter whispers when he finally manages to recover from the blow. "And you didn't let him rape me."
"Just fuck your throat and say terrible fucking things and then piss in your mouth. After that, you were fucking broken, Carter. You just went blank. Because you were traumatized."
"Weak," Carter counters. "I was weak."
Travis releases a slow, deep breath before saying, "I want you to come to the safehouse tomorrow."
"Why? So we can argue in circles about this?"
"No. So you can talk to Dr. Singh."
Betrayal zings through Carter, his heart pounding with it. "Fuck you."
“I’ve been seeing him.” That stops Carter. No, he hasn’t. Has he? “I started when you moved out. He helps, Carter.”
"He won't help me," Carter growls. "I already tried."
"Did you? Or did you just focus all of your hurt and grief and trauma on him so you could pretend you were fine? Easy to blame him and move on, right?"
"Where the fuck is this coming from?"
"Me, Carter. It's coming from me. And I guess Casey now too."
"I'm done talking about this. I - red."
Travis makes a sound Carter hasn't heard him make since he was Nathan Roarke. It makes Carter feel very small. What Travis says next is even worse. "You want to safe word out of any conversation that makes you uncomfortable? Fine, Carter. But then we won't be playing anymore. I can't be your sir if we can't communicate. It’s not healthy.”
Carter can't breathe.
He can't fucking breathe.
"Travis-" he chokes.
"Are you safe? Are you going to be okay tonight?"
Carter blinks away tears. What does this mean? Are they still boyfriends? Will they never play again? How can Carter prove he's okay?
"Carter, are you safe?" Travis asks again, the worry in his voice just adding to Carter's breaking heart.
"Yes," he whispers. "I'm - yeah. I'm fine."
"Good. Call someone if that changes, okay?"
Carter's stomach twists painfully. "Like you? C-can I call you?"
"Yeah, sweetheart." Travis sighs. "You can always call me."
"But not as my sir…"
The beat of silence says enough, but he confirms it anyway. "Just as Travis. I'm sorry."
Carter parts his lips, needing to say something. Anything. Should he beg? Should he agree to see the stupid fucking doctor? Should he say he loves Travis to see if the man says it back?
Words don't come. Tears do instead.
Carter ends up just ending the call with a shaking hand, unable to come up with anything more to say.
He stares at his phone for a long time, but Travis never calls him back.
