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"Yes."
"You didn't know the truth though."
"But he knew the truth, and that kept me safer than the rest of them."
"But finding out you're safe after the fact doesn't erase all of the fear and harm you experienced beforehand." He shakes his head. "And even after, you surely still feared for your life. You must have lived with all the what ifs. What if things went wrong? What if Travis and Jake were killed or the extraction didn't work how it should or your brother failed? What if you made a mistake and gave everything away? What if Casey died before you got the chance to save him? Dozens more, I'm sure. That's a lot to shoulder. Add on that while juggling all of those thoughts you had to act like a slave, had to deal with abuse and rape, had to witness others be brutalized, and had to reconcile the fact that your own brother and the man you loved lied to you, and you might have the most complex, layered trauma of everyone under this roof, Carter."
Carter's eyes burn, his throat suddenly tight. "It doesn't feel like it…"
"It doesn't feel like it, or your head doesn't believe it?" When Carter doesn't answer - because he's not sure he fucking knows - Dr. Singh follows his question up with another. "How are you sleeping?"
"Terribly," Carter admits. "The nightmares got better for a second there, but they're back."
"Have you been triggered?"
"Not really."
Dr. Singh frowns. "So, that wasn't you who dropped to his knees in the laundry room when Maison yelled? It wasn't you who Travis, Maison, and Jake badged out of the facility to go get from another man's home after you tried having intimacy with him?"
Carter sets a glare on the man, back to full-on hatred. "How the fuck do you know about that?"
"House gossip, Carter." He taps his ear. "You'd be surprised how useful it is."
"Fine. I've gotten triggered. So what?"
"Nightmares and triggers are classic signs of trauma."
"Okay?"
"So, it answers the question for you. It does feel like you have trauma, even if your mind is fighting to accept that. You're feeling it every time you're triggered, or every time you have flashbacks, or intrusive thoughts, or nightmares, or a long list of other issues that I'm more than happy to discuss with you. The problem is your brain. Your brain doesn't believe it. Your brain doesn't want to be a victim. And it's understandable. Who wants to be a victim, right?"
"I'm not in denial. I'm not trying to avoid being the victim. I just - I feel guilty I didn't experience the same level of trauma as the others. I mean, Casey was gangraped all the time. Matt doesn't even speak."
Dr. Singh frowns. "Out of Casey and Matt, who had it worse do you think?"
"I… don't know."
"What about Bryce and Nolan?"
"I don't know."
"Out of everyone here, who wins? Who had it the worst?"
Rage shoots through Carter. "It's not a fucking competition."
"Say that again."
"What? Why?"
"Just humor me. Repeat what you said, Carter."
"It's not a fucking-" he stops, realizing why he's being asked to repeat his own words.
Dr. Singh finishes for him. "-competition. And you're right, it's not. So stop, Carter. Stop making them compete. Stop making yourself compete."
"We're all victims," Carter mumbles, getting the point.
"No, Carter." Dr. Singh sits forward and points a finger at him, his expression serious. "You're all survivors. The question is, are you ready to face that?"
