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“Yeah. Figured you deserved for me to leave you alone.”
Carter frowns. “Why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Travis laughs humorlessly, putting the file aside and sitting up. “Maybe because your shoulder is fucked up. Possibly permanently. Or because you had to be tested for fucking HIV today. Or because you have low blood pressure. Or that your blood results came in a few minutes ago and you’re lacking… pretty much everywhere, which means I didn’t feed or give you enough water while you were under my care, and now your poor body is fucking suffering because of it. Or because you had to deal with needles today, and I figured dealing with me too wasn’t really fair of me to ask.” He rubs the back of his neck before adding at a much lower volume, “And therapy might of fucked up my head a little. So…”
“Okay. That’s… fair.” Carter looks down at the floor, dragging the tip of his big toe along the carpet. A flurry of emotions overwhelms him. “Travis… when did you give me a PrEP injection?”
Travis clears his throat. “When you got sick. When you had the IV and everything. You were out cold. I figured it was as good a time as any. I hadn’t known about your fear of needles before then. It was a few days earlier than you needed the booster, but I thought I’d take advantage of the moment so you didn’t have to worry.”
“I can’t decide if I’m pissed at you about that, or thankful.”
“You could be both.”
Carter nods. “I think maybe I am.”
“That’s fair.”
“You said my results came back?”
“Yes. You’re free of any infections, but you’ll need another test in a few months.”
“Yeah, the doctor mentioned that.” Carter fidgets, fighting the urge to crawl onto the bed and just curl up in Travis’s lap. Beg to be held, maybe. Beg the man to just… make him feel fucking safe for a few minutes. “You said I’m low in stuff?”
Travis frowns, looking incredibly worried. It warms something in Carter’s chest. His eyes burn. “You’re malnourished and dehydrated. Our biggest concerns are your iron levels and hydration. The doc recommended we give you some IV bags, but I shot it down on your behalf. Said we’ll try with vitamins and electrolyte waters first.”
“Thanks,” Carter whispers, his chest even warmer now.
“You have to eat though, Carter.” Travis pushes off the bed, but doesn’t come toward him. He tilts his chin so they’re looking directly into each other’s eyes. “I’ll deliver meals to you myself if I have to. I get you wanting to avoid the others in the house. Or wanting to avoid the dinner table. It’s fucking… weird, sitting there. Weirder for you I’m sure. But you have to eat. I’m begging you to eat, Carter.”
Carter hadn’t realized it was that big of a deal. Especially not that big of a deal to Travis. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Promise me,” Travis says. It sounds like maybe he’s trying to make it an order, but it comes out a desperate plea instead.
Carter can’t do anything but nod and say, “I promise.”
“Thank you.” Travis’s lips curl into a beautiful smile full of relief and love. Carter’s knees feel a little weak. “There’s leftovers, if you want some now.”
“I’ll find something, yeah.”
“Good. That’s-” he pauses, running a hand through his hair. It draws Carter’s attention to his ribcage. The bandage is gone now, the slash on his side still angry and red, but no longer fresh or open. “That’s good, Carter. Thank you.”
Without overthinking it, Carter says, “I’ll eat if you come to my room for the night.”
Travis’s smile turns warm and a little dangerous. “Is that right?”
“It is.”
“One last time?” he asks with a soft laugh.
Carter laughs too. It really is kind of ridiculous, them clinging to those three words that are so very clearly a lie. They're a hell of a lot safer than the other three words they could be saying though.
“Yeah,” Carter says instead of acknowledging how stupid they’re being. “One last time.”
Leaving Travis to get dressed enough to respectfully walk through a house full of survivors, Carter heads to the kitchen. He equips himself with electrolyte water, a protein bar, and a banana. It’s not much, but it’ll have to do. If Travis’s grin when he walks into Carter’s room and sees the spread is any indication, it’s good enough.
Carter finishes eating quickly, then rolls onto his side with his good shoulder. Travis slides in beside him without a word and presses a soft kiss to his bad shoulder. It feels like an apology.
It feels like an I love you.
