AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’ll tell me if something bad happens, right? If Travis gets…” Carter can’t say the words. He shakes his head. “You’ll tell me, right?”
Maison gives him a genuine smile, his eyes soft and understanding. “Yeah, kid. I’ll tell you.”
Carter tries to be okay with it then. To let it go.
But one thought haunts him - there’s a chance that Travis might not come back from this, might not survive, and then last night will really have been their one last time.
And it wasn’t enough.
It wasn't nearly enough.
Chapter One
Carter hates group therapy.
It’s 3 times a week and optional, but Casey likes to go and always drags Carter along. He hates every part of it.
He hates Dr. Singh, who he knows thinks Carter has a lot of work to do and needs to confront his feelings for Travis. They never even finished their first one-on-one session. Carter walked out after just 7 minutes and never went back.
He hates listening to Bryce, who is so well-adjusted that Carter finds himself questioning how much the man must have endured despite having read his file back at the compound about being stabbed with forks and stretched on racks.
He hates that Dr. Singh always tries to get Matt to engage when the man knows Matt hasn't talked in months.
He hates that Darian's stories never fail to make him cry.
He hates crying. He's so fucking sick of crying.
He hates Nolan. Everything to do with Nolan. Especially every time he says Travis's name or perks up at the mention of him or blushes when he talks about him.
He hates the 'assignment' Dr. Singh gives them at the end of every session. Do one thing today that makes you happy.
Like it's so fucking easy to be happy.
Like he can just snap his fingers and find that elusive emotion again.
Like he isn't terrified he might never feel happy again.
Carter. Hates. Group. Therapy.
But it's Tuesday afternoon, the scent of barbeque wafting in from the open screen door, his stomach aching since he hasn't been able to eat much lately, Maison across the yard standing at the grill with a beer and a smile as he talks to Jake, and here Carter is, listening to Nolan talk about his nightmare in group fucking therapy.
Casey better fucking love him.
"It was awful," Nolan cries, wiping at the tears on his face. "He was just dead. I tried everything to save him, but Travis was dead!"
Carter fights not to roll his eyes. It's rude, he knows, but seriously… Nolan has to fucking stop with this shit or Carter is going to strangle him.
"That must have been very hard," Dr. Singh says. He likes to point out the obvious. A nightmare was hard to endure? Oh thank God for your degree. We would have never figured that out, doc. "What was worse with the dream - the death, or the feeling of helplessness you experienced because of it?"
Carter stops listening, his eyes moving to the screen door. Maison looks tired today. Like maybe he didn't sleep well last night. Jake looks much better. Carter knows why - he slept with Casey. Or at least in Casey's room. Carter caught him leaving early this morning. He had just ducked his head and walked away, looking like a kid sneaking away from a cookie jar. Carter hasn't gotten the chance to grill Casey on it yet - it was Casey's day to do one-on-one therapy and Casey doesn't usually like to talk much those days - but he plans on getting the details tomorrow. It's the least Casey can do, since he keeps dragging Carter to these group sessions.
"Carter?"
Carter blinks, turning his attention back to the group. Everyone is staring at him. He cringes and sinks further into the big armchair he's sitting on. "Yeah?"
"I know you were struggling with nightmares. Have they gotten any better?"
Um, rude. And also - "How do you know that? I never told you that."
