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Dr. Singh frowns. "It was on your intake paperwork. Travis filled out a questionnaire about your mental health and possible issues moving forward."
"Oh did he?" Carter scoffs. "How nice of him. Well, yes, I do in fact have issues with nightmares. And considering we've only been here, safe, for like two weeks - no, doc. They haven't magically disappeared."
Dr. Singh looks unfazed. "Would you like to talk about them?"
"Not even a little."
"It feels good to open up," Nolan says from across the room. He gives Carter a small smile. It's genuine, which makes Carter hate him even more. "Just saying them out loud takes the power away from them. At least… a little."
"You have a nightmare about Travis dying, like, every fucking night. Sorry to break it to you, but talking about them hasn't helped you."
Nolan looks at his lap, cheeks going red. He always gets sheepish when Carter acknowledges his Travis obsession. "I know, but… it still helps me feel better."
"Good," Carter forces himself to say, even softening his tone. Nolan is a victim, he reminds himself for the thousandth time. Nolan doesn't deserve your anger. "I'm glad it helps, but I don't want to talk about mine. Thank you."
There. Nice and polite.
Dr. Singh sighs like he thinks Carter is acting like a child, but he moves the conversation away from him.
Carter looks back outside again. A man has joined Maison and Jake. Tall and broad, wearing black running shorts and no shirt. His back is to Carter.
His stomach flips.
Travis.
But it's not. It's just one of the men who provides exterior security for the house.
Carter shakes his head at himself for thinking it could be Travis. Travis is gone. He's been gone. And Carter - stubborn and unwilling to admit he cares - has no idea what's going on because he can't get himself to ask Maison for updates. He assumes Travis is still alive. Maison promised to tell him if anything bad happened.
That's what keeps Carter going. Just about the only thing that does these days. Travis is still alive.
He has to be.
"Big Red or Juicy Fruit?"
Travis lowers the binoculars in his hand and looks over at his partner for the Mica mission - a tall, broad man with gray hair, startling blue eyes, and a sniper shot so deadly Travis felt himself go into mild shock the first time he watched him use it. The man - Keats - is holding both packs of gum, one eyebrow raised as he waits for the answer.
"It feels like a Big Red kind of night, " Travis decides.
"It does." Keats pulls two sticks out of the red pack, handing one to Travis before unwrapping the other for himself. “Alright, where did we leave off?”
Travis groans. He knew this was coming - it comes every night around this time, when the world starts to go quiet but it’s not quite calm enough for one of them to fall asleep while the other pulls guard duty. They entertain themselves in this gap of time by telling stories.
Correction - Keats entertains himself in this gap of time by demanding Travis tell him one very specific story. Travis would much rather refer to this time as torture than entertainment.
“I believe Henley was about to visit,” Keats says around a mouthful of gum.
“I’d give just about anything not to have to rehash that visit.”
“Which is exactly why you should.” Keats gives him that same look he always does when Travis tries to worm his way out of talking about his operation. “This is therapy, remember?”
Travis raises the binoculars back to his eyes. “I don’t recall signing up for therapy with you.”
“It’s a complimentary service.”
Travis watches the two men outside the building they’re almost positive Mica is hiding out in. The men are smoking and shooting the shit, their rifles slung loosely over their shoulders. Security, but barely. If they can confirm Mica is inside, it'd be easy for Travis and Keats to take them out.
When Keats first brought up the idea of talking through his operation - particularly the parts that bothered him the most - Travis had shot that shit down. He didn’t want to even think about what he’d been through over the years, and he sure as shit wasn’t going to tell a man that was basically a stranger all about his feelings regarding Carter and the abuse he was forced to dole out to him.
