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“I think it’s a good idea.” It’s a terrible idea. “You know, the night before I told you the truth, we were together. I knew I was telling you in the morning, knew I’d be ruining everything, so I made sure to savor every moment of that night. Every fucking detail. I knew it’d probably be the last time you’d let me be intimate with you like that. But you didn’t know. You didn’t get to appreciate that night like I did.”
“I didn’t,” Carter agrees. He looks at Travis again, his gaze hopeful. “One last time?”
Travis almost laughs, but it's impossible to do when his heart is breaking. “Yeah, Carter. One last time.”
Carter starts to tremble the moment Travis beckons him off the bed. He’s not afraid, exactly. It’s just that they haven’t really touched each other since coming here, other than little stray touches that occurred as they got settled in bed. When Travis touches him this time, it’s going to set Carter on fire, and Carter isn’t entirely confident he’ll survive it.
Maybe Travis feels the same because he doesn’t touch Carter yet, just stepping forward and lifting a hand to hover his fingertips an inch from Carter’s cheek. Carter shudders, his breath catching in his chest as he waits.
“You’re sure?” Travis whispers, his voice just as shaky as all of Carter.
Carter swallows hard. “I’m sure.”
The touch comes then. Soft. Warm. Electric. Carter feels it radiate from his cheekbone until his entire body is buzzing. Travis drags his fingers from Carter’s cheek to his chin, to the corner of his jaw, down the side of his throat, across his shoulder, down his arm, and to his fingertips. He winds his fingers among Carter’s until they’re holding hands, palm to palm. His left hand comes in then, mirroring his right hand’s actions. When he has both of Carter’s hands in his, he lifts them until Carter’s arms are in the air, then lets go. It’s not a spoken order, but Carter hears it nonetheless. He doesn’t drop his hands.
Travis grips the bottom of Carter’s shirt and slowly peels it upward. Every inch feels like an eternity, Carter’s legs wobbly by the time Travis has the fabric bunched under Carter’s chin and their gazes meet. Travis’s eyes flash, full of lust and need, and then the fabric is over Carter’s face. Carter sucks in a breath, the ghosts of trauma peeking in at him through the sudden darkness, but then the shirt is gone and Travis is brushing his lips against Carter’s in an almost-kiss. “You’re okay. I’m here. Breathe.”
Carter breathes.
He’s rewarded with a soft, painfully sweet kiss. His right knee buckles. Travis steadies him, then steps back so he can work on Carter’s pants.
“This is weird,” Carter whispers, a near-hysterical laugh on the edge of the words. “Y-you undressing me. Weird role reversal, yeah?”
Travis smirks without looking up at him, his focus on the zipper of Carter’s jeans that he’s currently pulling down. “I suppose so.”
“You’re very good at it. Undressing a person. For someone who… hasn’t really done that. I mean, unless you have. Maybe you undressed someone else. It’s - it’s not like you only slept with me, right? I mean, there’s Ronan, maybe you undressed Ronan, and then you wouldn’t be as out of practice as I thought, which wouldn’t make this as impressive - oooh.” Carter’s nervous rambling cuts off immediately when Travis presses an open-mouthed kiss to his underwear-covered erection. He nearly chokes on his own tongue. His right knee buckles again. His hands find Travis’s shoulders - when did the man even get on his knees? - and squeeze the hell out of them. “That’s - uh - nice.”
Travis tilts his head back, letting his chin rest against Carter’s bulge as he smirks up at him. He arches an eyebrow. It’s cocky and unfairly sexy. “Nice?”
“Yes. Very… nice.”
“What about this?” Travis hooks his fingers into the waistband of his underwear and tugs until Carter’s cock springs free from the fabric prison. He keeps eye contact with Carter as he leans forward and catches his cock between his lips. Carter starts to sink to the floor, his mind spinning - at the feeling of Travis’s mouth on his cock or the sight of it, he’s not entirely sure - but Travis grips his hips tight and holds him up. He takes Carter deeper. Carter whimpers, his whole body jerking with a shudder. When he pulls away, there’s spit on his bottom lip. “Was that nice?”
Carter can’t stop staring at the spit on his lip. “B-better than nice.”
“I’d hope so.” Travis chuckles, pushing to his feet. Carter wants to ask him why the fuck he’s stopping, but he wants to kiss that spit-slick lip more, so he allows the change in elevation. “Now, how about-”
Carter lurches forward, cutting his words off with a kiss. It’s clumsy and heated and wet, and Carter groans as his cock painfully throbs where it’s trapped between them. He shamelessly ruts against the man. Travis allows it for a few seconds, but then he grabs Carter’s hair in a fist and pulls him back, moving his body away at the same time so Carter can’t press against him any longer. “Slow down, swee - sweet boy.”
The nearly spoken sweetheart is enough of a reality check to cool Carter down a little. He doesn’t complain about the separation, taking the opportunity to catch his breath and steady himself.
Travis guides Carter to the bed, then gently pushes him down until he’s lying on his back. His legs spread on their own and his cheeks go hot when he notices Travis appreciating the gap between them. Then he’s distracted by his own appreciation because Travis starts to strip out of his clothes, every movement slow enough to fully enjoy the show. He pauses when he’s in nothing but his tight black boxer briefs.
“How do you want it?"
“H-how do you mean?”
“Do you want me to fuck you hard?” Travis asks, his voice like gravel as he looks at Carter with hooded eyes. “Or do you want me to be nice?”
Desire curls right below Carter's belly button. It's probably the only reason he manages to say the truth. "Nice."
Travis’s gaze darkens, his tongue darting out to lick across his lips. Then he nods slowly and sinks down on one knee between Carter’s parted legs. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
Carter’s throat threatens to close.
Oh no.
Maybe nice was a bad idea…
