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“Okay.” Carter lifts a hand to the man’s cheek, touching Travis for what might be the last time. God, he’s not ready for an actual last time with this man. "On one condition. You have to do it too. Set yourself free, Travis. That life is over now. For both of us."
Travis lifts his hand, resting it on top of Carter’s. “Deal.”
Chapter Four
Carter is going to be the one to leave the safehouse. Travis is clearly uncomfortable with the decision, but he never argues against the idea after Carter pitches it. He does, however, ask Carter to choose somewhere close to the safehouse. Just in case, he says, worry etched into every line of his face. Carter agrees. After a few minutes of scrolling on Travis’s phone, they find a town 75 minutes away. It's a smaller place with just enough people to feel anonymous without being overwhelmed. There’s a campus there with a college that’s part of a larger university system. Classes start next week.
“Ace will help you sort everything out,” Travis murmurs. He presses his body harder against Carter’s, probably realizing the same thing Carter is - once they get out of this bed, it’s truly over. “All the survivors get accounts with debit cards attached. He’ll get you set up with your fake ID, too. And he'll hack his way into getting you enrolled and get you a place to stay and all that.”
“Where will the money come from?” Carter asks.
“Nathan Roarke.” Travis’s lips twist. “He was a billionaire, you know. Since the operation wasn't government-sanctioned, his assets weren’t seized. So, I emptied everything just before the party where Nathan Roarke supposedly died, and I’m using it for the survivors and for funding the operations to tie up loose ends.”
Carter isn’t sure how he feels about using that money, so he settles for saying nothing at all.
“Ace will get you a phone too. A secure one, so you can contact any of us.”
“Okay.” Carter runs his fingers along Travis’s bare skin, taking his time to trace the broken bird cage on his chest with a fingertip. Travis’s breath hitches, his chest stuttering beneath Carter’s hand. “Do you think I can really do it?”
“I think you can do anything you set your mind to, Carter Beckett.”
A smile pulls at the corners of Carter’s lips, but his impending sadness is too great to let it free. What if they never lie together like this again? What if they never kiss? Never make love, or hate, or whatever it is they do when they have sex?
“I’m a little scared,” Carter admits, his eyes locked on the bird that’s trapped in the broken cage over Travis’s heart.
Travis runs his hand slowly along Carter’s spine and makes a humming sound. “No one will find you. And I’m just a phone call away. Same with Maison, or Jake, or even Ace.”
“I know. It’s not that, really. It’s-” Carter pauses, closing his eyes like he can somehow hide from the truth. “What if I go there and I’m still not happy? What if - god, Travis, what if I can never be happy again?”
“I don’t believe that. You’re too good, Carter. You deserve it too much. You’ll be happy again. I promise you.”
He feels lips brush across his forehead before settling in the center of it. Travis inhales deeply, like he’s trying to breathe Carter in, trying to hold him in his lungs forever. Carter keeps his eyes closed and tightens his grip on the man, wondering if that would work, wondering if he should try it too. He inhales, and it’s all lavender and tea tree oil and – and – “What is that?” Carter asks, his voice choked.
“What?”
“That smell.” Carter inhales again, frustration brewing. “Lavender fabric softener and tea tree oil shampoo and – and something.”
Travis laugh softly. “Cinnamon.”
Yes. Cinnamon. That’s it.
Carter pulls away just enough to frown up at the man. “Why do you smell like cinnamon?”
“Fucking Keats. He got me hooked on Big Red gum.”
Carter laughs.
And then he starts to cry again.
He buries his face in Travis’s chest, unable to stop himself from getting another whiff of lavender and tea tree oil and cinnamon. It’s Travis, and Carter is learning he really fucking likes Travis, maybe even loves Travis, and - why in the fuck is he leaving again?
“Travis,” he whispers, ready to take this all back.
“We’ll figure this out, Carter,” Travis says, his voice firm and sure and soothing. “If leaving doesn’t help, then you come back. I don’t give a fuck about the rules. You’re not just some survivor, you’re Maison’s little brother, and you’re my - well, you're my Carter. If you want to come back, then you come back. But at least it’ll be your choice then, you know?”
Carter nods. It makes sense. He hates it, he’s fucking terrified of it, but it makes sense.
“I should probably go talk to Ace. And Maison. And Casey, too.”
