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“Not totally before. We were sold by the same man, so we met in the cell he kept us in before our separate auctions. We got close, I guess. After we saw each other at a party a while later, he asked Travis to get me. Or Jake, more accurately.”
I leave out the gory details, not ready to share them. Not even ready to let myself think too hard about them.
“That was nice of him. Of all of them, even.” He laughs dryly. “It feels really fucking weird to think of them as nice.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He heads over to the Keurig, retrieving my coffee. He sets it in front of me before grabbing some cream and sugar and placing them beside the mug. A spoon appears soon after. I manage a smile and a soft thanks. “Can I ask… did Jake… do anything with you? In private?”
I don’t reach for the cream or sugar, my hands suddenly shaky. “He didn’t, no. I tried. A lot. But it never went further than him giving me a bath or, like, holding me when I needed to be held.”
“That’s good.”
“Jake never-” I pause, realizing maybe that’s not my place to say. If Nolan wants to know what Jake used to do when he took any of them to his room, that’s for them to discuss. “Jake’s a good man. I can’t totally speak for Travis, but Jake is - he’s really good. And Carter is good, so I trust his opinion on Travis. I know it probably doesn’t matter to you what I think, but… that’s what I think anyway.”
“I appreciate that.” He looks away, then looks back at me. His cheeks are suddenly pink. “Maison isn’t so bad either. I know Carter is really angry with him, and I get that, but I wanted you to know that’s what I think. Maison is… good, too.”
I smile, but my insides feel heavy and sad. “If only these men being good made everything easier, hey?”
Nolan’s eyes grow glassy as he nods. His voice is tight when he agrees, “If only.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jake
“Jake?”
I blink, my vision clearing. Shit, I zoned out again, didn’t I? I’ve done it three times now. This man is going to think I’m fucking crazy. “I’m sorry. What were we talking about?”
Dr. Singh frowns at me. “Never mind that. Tell me where your head keeps going.”
“Oh. It’s-” I start to say not important, but that feels wrong considering it’s Casey my mind keeps drifting to. Maybe just go with the truth? “I’m worried about one of the survivors.”
“Ah. Carter or Casey?”
I laugh softly. “Am I that obvious?”
“Well, Maison and Travis came before you, and they were both hyperfocused on Carter, as I’m sure you can imagine. Though, you purchased Casey just before the operation ended, so I thought maybe it might be him on your mind instead.”
“It is, yes.”
“Did the two of you have a chance to grow close during your time together?”
“We did. He - well, once he was healed enough and calm, I told him the truth.”
Dr. Singh’s eyebrows lift before he makes a note in his book. “How did he handle that?”
“Not well at first. He thought it was a fucked-up game I was playing with him. Even after we let him see Carter. But he eventually believed it.”
“Mmm.” He makes another note. “Jake, did you have to engage in any nonconsensual activities with Casey?”
I pick at a loose string on the bottom of my shirt. “Yes.”
“Would you like to talk about that?”
“I mean, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. He technically consented. It was cockwarming at the table the day Maison came to the compound. I didn’t want to bring him along, but he was set on it. Wanted to be there for me. And Carter.”
“Have the two of you discussed it since then?”
