AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I shrug. "Not great? I get full pretty fast. And sometimes I'm just… not hungry. Or the thought of eating makes me feel, like, itchy inside…"
I peek up at him enough to see him nod in understanding. When he catches me, he gives me a soft smile that makes me feel like maybe this whole doctor thing isn't so terrible after all. "We'll make a note for Dr. Singh to talk to you about the food issue. It's common, though, don't worry. For now, whenever you do have an appetite, I'd like you to be drinking replacement shakes and eating protein bars. The most we can get out of any meal you eat, the better, alright?"
"Okay."
"Lots of water, too. Your body needs plenty of water while it recovers."
"Okay."
"This one might sound a little weird, but have you noticed any hair loss? More than usual?"
I frown, confused why that would be something I'd need to worry about. "No. I don't think so."
"Have your nails been breaking?"
I look down at my nails. They're bitten and the skin around them is red and angry from where I tend to pick at them when I'm anxious, but they're not broken or anything. "No."
"Good. That's good. I need to know if that changes, alright? Or let Dr. Deacon know. One of us needs to be told if you ever pass out or have a vision black out too, or if you fall from muscle weakness."
Something about his voice has changed. I look up at him, wanting to see his eyes. "Is it… normal? Me feeling all that stuff? Are the others like this too?"
Jake tries to school his expression, but I see right through it. The question made him sad. "No. Your body is healing differently than the others because you were almost septic. That can cause some pretty serious damage. We have to be very careful while you recover."
"Some people never recover, Casey," the doctor says. Jake gives him a look that's impressively threatening, but the doctor doesn't back down. "It's important that we stay on top of this and that you do everything you can to take care of yourself. I won't sugarcoat it."
“Okay.” I blink rapidly, trying to keep my eyes from watering. “Okay.”
“Dr. Singh will cover the mental health issues with you, but it’s important that you’re also aware that you’re at a higher risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Difficulty sleeping is also common. As are nightmares. Poor concentration. Sometimes hallucinations.” Dr. Deacon pauses. “Have you had hallucinations before, Casey?”
Me bound to a bench, my back raw and burning from the friction of sweaty skin against leather as they thrust, thrust, thrust into me. My head lolling to the side, cheek pressing to the sticky leather, eyes raw, exhaustion heavy in every limb, and there – Carter. Standing beside me with a sad smile and eyes full of tears. I want to reach for him. Say something. But I can’t.
All we can do is stare at each other.
A hand cups my cheek, pulling me from that cold dungeon back into the warm room with Jake. His eyes are full of concern. “Case?”
“Yes,” I whisper, letting myself press into his touch. I’m not in the dungeon. I’m in the safehouse. With Jake. I’m safe. "I've had… a few, I think."
“Have you had one since meeting Jake?”
“No. I had… a flashback?” I peek at Jake, since he was there and might understand better. “With the shower?”
Jake nods. “He was triggered. It was like he wasn’t there for a few minutes. Like he was back in the past. But it wasn’t a hallucination. You didn’t see anyone or anything in my bathroom, right, Case? You just left the bathroom for a minute to see them.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good,” Dr. Deacon says softly. “If you have any hallucinations, or anything that might even be close to one, you need to tell me or Jake.”
“Okay.”
“How are you sleeping, Casey?” he asks next.
I start picking at the skin around my thumb nail again, making sure I don’t look at either of them. “Fine.”
“Case…” Jake says softly, a clear plea for me to tell the truth.
“Like shit,” I amend. Then, “But I’m not taking pills, so it doesn’t really matter.”
Someone clears their throat. It sounds far away, so probably the doctor. Especially since he’s who speaks next. “Pills can make a dramatic difference. Even if you only use them for a week, just to get your body back into the habit of regularly sleeping. They’re non-habit forming.”
