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“I’ve been meaning to…”
“Casey, that’s part of the fucking deal we made.”
His back straightens, his chin jutting up in false confidence. “I didn’t have to make that deal with you. Nothing is holding me to it. I - I’m allowed to be here if I want to be. You don’t get to make rules for me. You’re not my master.”
But I could be your daddy.
And boy, would you be in so much fucking trouble right now if I was.
I take a deep breath, reminding myself that recovery is a long road and I can’t rush him down it. He’s alive. That’s more than enough right now.
“Well, I’m here tonight, so how about we move back to the bed, okay?”
“You still want to stay?” he asks, his confidence lost as he stares at me with wide blue eyes full of cautious hope. “You’re not too mad?”
“I’m not mad at all,” I promise him. “I’m worried. But I’m not going to nag you, and I’m definitely staying. As long as I’m still welcome?”
He blushes. “Always.”
“Okay.” I grab blankets and a pillow, nodding for him to grab the other pillow and his dolphin. We work quietly as we haphazardly make the bed and climb into the same sides we used to use before he left. "You know, I'm sure Carter would sleep with you if you asked. He might even be having a hard time too."
Casey scoffs. "Carter's doing fine. He thinks I'm doing fine. And I'm going to keep it that way."
"Casey-"
"We are going to keep it that way," he clarifies, shooting me an impressive look that leaves no room for argument.
"Okay."
He strips to his underwear and crawls into the bed, his dolphin already tucked in the crook of one arm. He turns to his side as I join him. I mirror his position, bringing us face to face with only inches between us.
"I've missed you," he admits in the quiet darkness.
"I've missed you too, Case." I reach out to run a fingertip down the bridge of his nose. Something inside of me seems to sigh at the touch, like I've gained a piece of myself back with it. "Please don't keep ignoring my texts."
"I didn't want you to know that I'm failing."
His voice gives out at the last word, his eyes squeezing shut. I wrap an arm around him, pulling until he's tucked right up against me. When he hooks a leg over my hip to bring us even closer, I hide a smile in his hair and tighten my hold around him. "You're not failing. You're trying. And even if you decide you can't do this, even if you end up back at the house, it won't be because you've failed. It'll be because you're still trying. And there's nothing about that that makes you a failure, Casey."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
His fingers grab my side, digging into my ribs. I put my hand over his, not to pull it away, but to hold it in place. He sags against me. “A guy ran into me. At the store, I mean. Or - or maybe I ran into him. I don’t know.”
“Did it scare you? Were you hurt?”
“He-” Casey releases a shuddery breath whispering, “He smelled like… him.”
DuGray.
Oh, sweet boy.
"That must have been fucking awful. I’m sorry, Case.”
"It…" He trails off, his muscles jerking like they’re bracing for a fight. “I knew it wasn’t him. I knew it. But my body…”
“Your body didn’t believe you.”
