Page 195 of Drown in You


Font Size:  

Carter doesn’t seem to mind so much. He can apparently look past it since it’s all consensual. In fact, he seems to squirm and blush at some of the things he discovers along the way. Including some pictures on a local kink club’s online group that he gets accepted to after answering a few simple questions and agreeing to their rules. The club is having an event in a town nearby.

He wants to go.

I swallow my overwhelming fear and tell him I’ll come with him.

Carter comes out dressed and ready to go an hour earlier than we agreed on, hands on his hips and determination in his eyes. He announces, "I'm going alone.”

“What? No. That’s way too dangerous.”

“I love you for being willing to come, I do, but I need to do this myself. I can’t explain it. I just do.”

I force myself to count to three in my head before saying - slowly - "If you're sure…" so he can't tell how fucking relieved I am.

That relief is short lived though when just two hours later Jake is calling me frantically asking if I know anything about some guy named Hunter who would be calling Travis from Carter’s cell. Panic brings me to my knees as I tell him Carter’s plan, spilling it all as he sits in a car with Maison and waits the 10 minutes Travis gave them before they’re allowed to storm the place demanding this Hunter guy give Carter back.

“I should’ve gone with him,” I sob, self-hatred pumping through my body. “I should’ve gone too.”

I don’t get a chance to talk to Carter when Travis carries him in. He brings him straight to his room, Jake and Maison trailing behind and lingering in the living room where I’m curled up on the couch in a deep guilt spiral. “Is he going to be okay?” I ask, my voice trembling.

“He will be. The guy didn’t hurt him or anything, but he got triggered on accident. Travis is taking care of him,” Jake promises. He comes over to run a hand through my hair, giving me a warm smile. “Want me to stay with you? I know you’re upset.”

My cheeks burn. I want to say yes. To beg him, actually. The blankets have stopped smelling of vanilla and tobacco, making it even harder for me to sleep, and I’ve missed him so much my entire being aches with it most days. But Travis probably won’t stay for long since they’re doing the whole giving each other space thing. Plus, he’s probably going to be upset when he finds out Carter has been fucking other people. So, I decline the offer, wanting to be here for Carter when he needs me. Because he’s definitely going to need me now.

In the morning, I walk out of my room figuring I’ll have to go searching for Carter. Maybe I’ll make him some coffee? Some breakfast? Or maybe we’ll just spend the day drowning our feelings in alcohol?

Instead, I find Carter awake, sitting at the table with a steaming mug and a smile way too bright for the night he just had. A terrible, awful, selfish part of me deflates at the sight.

“Is Travis still here?” I ask.

“No.” His smile falters but bounces back quickly. “But I think we finally worked our shit out. Or… we’re starting to? We’re going to talk every day and just sort of get to know each other as these versions of ourselves. I think it’s going to be good, Case. Like really good. I - I think we could be happy together.”

The hurt is so intense, it steals my breath. My head spins. My knees wobble.

"That's great," I hear myself say, my lips mirroring his smile. God it hurts. "I need to shower."

He doesn't point out that I'm afraid of the shower. Maybe he thinks I'm better now.

Maybe he doesn't even remember.

I think we could be happy together.

It was supposed to be us. Me and Carter. We were supposed to get free together. We were supposed to be happy together. We were supposed to win together.

But he has Travis and I have… Jake?

Except I don't have Jake, do I? I was a job to him. Just another slave to save. Another little one. I bet if I stopped bothering him, he'd be relieved.

In the end, I have no one.

No one at all.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jake

Casey starts slipping away from me again. It seems to happen just slowly enough for me to watch, but not slowly enough to stop it. His texts become infrequent and short, then rare, then nonexistent. My calls go unanswered. The video chats stop.

I end up resorting to begging Travis for updates through what he hears from Carter, which is its own frustration as it requires dealing with the lovesick fool multiple times a day. I'm happy for him - he and Carter both - but I also want to punch him in his stupid smiling face.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
Articles you may like