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My smile suddenly feels sticky and awful when I look at my best friend and promise, “I’ll be ready.”
I avoid my to-do list, choosing to crawl back into bed with Casey instead. The selfishness is worth it as I enjoy the feeling of him safe and warm in my arms. I hold him close for hours, until he finally stirs awake, all sleepy and warm and smiling up at me when he realizes I’m there. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I stroke my thumb along the small of his back, ignoring the urge to dip it lower. So not the time. “How’d you sleep?”
“Good. Great.” He deflates. “But I have a feeling that’s about to be ruined.”
I frown. “Why do you feel like that?”
“Because your face is telling me so. And because you were wasted last night and I’m pretty sure you’re about to take it all back now.”
“I’m not," I promise, hating myself for making him so confused. It was a mistake to tell him we couldn't be together, even if we shouldn’t be. I can't stay away. I won't. Fuck what's supposed to be right or wrong. If it's me and Casey, it's right. It'll always be right. "In fact, if you’ll allow it, I’d very much like to kiss you again.”
He goes completely still, blue eyes wide. “Y-you… what?”
“Kiss you.” I tug at his bottom lip with my thumb, smiling softly at him. “If you’ll let me.”
“Like, just one more time? Or as a test? Or-”
“As another kiss in a long line of many, many kisses I’d like to give you moving forward.”
He flushes. “Yes. Okay. Yup. Immediately. Kiss me right now.”
Chuckling, I turn him onto his back and lay my body over his, bringing our lips together in a gentle kiss that quickly turns frantic. I end it before it can go too far, knowing we have a lot to talk about first. He whines, his shaking hands clinging to me as I pull away. I give him one more lingering kiss to make up for the disappointment before rolling off him and settling on my side. With my elbow on the mattress and head propped in my hand, I have the perfect view of his flushed cheeks and pouty bottom lip. "Why'd you stop?"
"We need to talk."
He wrinkles his nose. "See? I don't like the sound of that. That right there is what I'm talking about."
"It's not about us. I mean, we do need to talk about us, but that's going to have to wait. And when that happens, it'll be a good conversation. I promise."
"A conversation with more kisses?" he asks, looking adorably skeptical and kind of like he's willing to fight me if I deny him.
"Lots of kisses," I assure him. I even give him the quickest of kisses right then, just to show him I'm not going to be stingy with them in the future. "But I'm leaving soon with Maison, Travis, and Keats. In just a few hours, actually. We're going after Scott Quinton."
The name of the man who sold him into sexual slavery makes him jolt. "W-why? I thought you couldn't kill him?"
"We couldn't before. We thought he was too important to another operation. But changes have been made and we were authorized to grab him. We think he'll be able to tell us where Elliot is."
"I'm sure he knows, but why would he tell you?"
I grimace. "We'll get him to talk."
"Oh." His expression twists with the pain of understanding. He touches his fingers to my tattoo, hand shaking. "Are you going to be in danger?"
The smart thing would be to lie. To assure him I'll be fine. But I can't do it. "Not much, but there's always a risk. It should be easy, though. And the team is good."
"Does it have to be you?"
"No," I admit, even though my skin crawls at the thought of passing up this opportunity. "But other than DuGray, this is the only other person I personally have on my list to go after. I'd like to be a part of it."
"Okay…"
"I don't have to go, if you need me here."
He smiles, just a little. "You take such good care of me."
"Well, yeah. You're mine, remember?"
