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"Even without Nolan, one of you might have said something by mistake. It was too dangerous. My job was to calculate the risks and do everything I could to preserve the operations integrity and the safety of Travis and I. It sounds cold and awful, but you guys weren't - you couldn't be the priority. You were the few, when we stood to save many. I did what I could for you. It wasn't enough, but I - I did what I could."
They seem to ruminate on that for a minute before Bryce mumbles, “It’s better than what Travis did, I guess. He just fucking ignored us most of the time.”
Travis tenses beside me, a soft sound coming from him that I’m pretty sure only I can hear. The sound Carter makes is much louder - an angry growl. “Travis-”
“Don’t, sweetheart,” Travis begs, giving his boyfriend a sad smile. “They get to feel however they want to feel. Don’t take that from them.” He turns his attention to Bryce. “I was a fucking coward when it came to all of you. I hid whenever I could. Avoided. Ignored. When things were too much, I walked out of the room. I left you there. All of you. I told myself there was nothing I could do, but you’re right, there was a lot I could have done differently. I could have been doing what Jake was. I could have made stricter rules on how slaves were treated in the house. I could have come and checked on you guys sometimes.”
“Why didn’t you?” Nolan asks, his voice nothing but a whisper.
Travis meets his eyes before admitting, “I was afraid. I thought I’d fuck up. Ruin the operation. Put lives at risk. Put all of us at risk. I was afraid - fuck.” He ducks his head, running a trembling hand through his hair. “I was afraid if I let myself get to know you guys, if I let myself spend time with you, that it’d be harder to see you as slaves. And once I stopped being able to seperate like that, I’d be fucked. I was barely hanging in there as it was. I was fucking weak. I am weak. I couldn’t do my job and - and care about you guys. I had to choose.”
“And you chose the operation,” Bryce finishes.
“We wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t,” Nolan argues. "He did what it took to survive, just like the rest of us."
“I know. I - fuck, I know.” Bryce turns his back to the room, hands fisted at his sides. “I just - I know." He scrubs a hand over his face before looking back at Travis with hard eyes. “Are you at least sorry?”
“Yes. More than you could ever know, yes.”
Bryce eyes him for a few seconds before collapsing onto the floor with a sigh. “Fine. Okay. Forgiven. I’m not thanking you for saving us, though.”
“That’s quite alright,” Travis says, his tone caught somewhere between amusement and sadness. “I didn’t do it for thanks.”
“Well, I’ll thank you,” Nolan says, his eyes focusing on Travis before falling on me. “Both of you.”
We both nod, equally uncomfortable for the gratitude. I can’t speak for Travis, but despite the discomfort, it still feels pretty good.
Before things can get too awkward, Nolan bluts, “I wasn’t in love with you.”
Travis makes a sound that’s somewhere between a choke and a laugh. He rubs at the back of his neck. “Uh - yeah. I know.”
“It was a defense mechanism.” Nolan fidgets, looking at Carter for just a second before quickly returning his gaze to Travis. His face goes bright red. “I mean, you’re very - um. You’re quite handsome. And I’ve learned that you’re a great man. But just so we’re clear, no love going on here. None.”
“We’re clear,” Travis says with amusement.
“Great.”
Nolan and Bryce exchange a look. Then they both look at Matt. When Matt nods, Bryce clears his throat, squares his shoulders, and settles his gaze on the two of us. I brace myself for something terrible. Will it be about what happened all those months ago at the party? The night Matt spoke for the last time? Does he want us to defend not saving him? It’d be on me, if that’s the case. Travis wasn’t even home that night…
Fuck.
Fuck, I’m not ready for-
“Matt wants a cat.”
I blink. Then look at Travis. He looks at me. He blinks. Then he shrugs. I shrug. We both look back at them, relief making me grin so wide I must look like a fucking idiot. “We can get a cat.”
Matt taps Nolan’s leg. Nolan murmurs, “I know,” then to us, “He wants two. So the cat doesn’t get lonely.”
“Two it is,” Travis says easily. “Unless anyone is allergic?”
I look around the room, but no one speaks up. “Two it is.”
Matt taps him again. Nolan nods. “He wants to come along to pick them out. Whenever that ends up being.”
“And he wants to go shopping for their stuff too,” Bryce adds, apparently remembering this part without needing to be tapped. “Like their toys and shit.”
“We’ll all go,” I agree. “Family outing. There’s a humane society in town.”
